amauch01

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I can't believe it's been a year since my last post. I've been sitting here reading my past posts and can't help but cry, It's so easy to get caught up in living life skinnier, and you forget how far you've really come, I forgot how hard it was. So everyone who's struggling right now, either before surgery, during or after, the day will come when things get really easy! For me sometimes too easy, I can pretty much eat anything I want, and I've found a way to eat candy, by watching the sugar grams which is bad. So surgery definately doesn't fix everything I still have to watch what I eat and how much just like before my surgery, so I don't gain weight, I weigh myself everyday because I don't want it to get out of control, I still want to lose ten more pounds but I don't really try, I really need to get all this skin cut off, it's horrible and my boobs are pretty non existant thankgod for nice bras! But I'm so glad I made the decision to have surgery, I'm so much more healthy and happy now! So if your reading this and considering surgery, GO FOR IT!!!!! Just do lots of research and make sure you ready mentally and emotionally and have lots of support! You'll do great!!! Thankyou to everyone who has helped mre along the way with advice and words of encouragement, I'm going to try to be here more regularly, so I can help others the way you've all helped me.

I been feeling really wierd lately, like I'm in my own little world seperate from everyone, and all emotion, and extremely empty. Has anyone had any problems with depression after surgery? or Major relationships issues? Please help and let me know, Thanks!!!

Hello, everybody!Hope everyone is doing well. I've been pretty good, yesterday I officialy lost a total of 50 lbs. since surgery, and 60 lbs from my highest. It's pretty exciting, I'm almost out of the 180's yay!!! I have had some issues since surgery but days like this definately make it worth it. I went to our monthly lunch today, that I almost forgot about. I'm so glad I remembered it's nice to meet new people that are dealing with the same things you are. No one else truly understands unless they've been through this. If you haven't been to one of the lunches you should definately come to one it's lots of fun. So I have to have an endoscopy done and may need them to stretch my opening because things are getting stuck. Has anybody had this done? If so how many times I heard it takes more than once sometimes. Oh, and anyone who has had they'rs surgery at Kaiser Richmond, can you let me know who your Dr. is and how your experience has been. I just got Kaiser ins. so I have to change everything over. So I guess that's it, since my husband just asked if I was writing a book (whatever!) Talk to you all soon!!!

Wow, It's been a month since my last post. So I'm doing pretty good. I've been teetering around 188 for a couple weeks now, I need to step up the excercise to get the scale moving alittle faster again, but I'm feeling good. I'm having some trouble with my food getting stuck, no matter what I eat or how slow I eat, it gets stuck so I've had alot of throwing up lately. Have I posted that already? Oh, if I did it's still happening. If anyone has an advise I'd appreciate any help I can get. I've gotten to where I don't even want to eat, it's such a hassle. I'm kicking myself because I didn't do my pictures or measurements for my two month mark, so I figured I'd wait for three months. I hope everyone is doing good!

Finally!!! I'm under 200 lbs.!! 198 baby!!!! I'm so excited I have waited for this day for a long time I hope everyone else is doing well!

Just when I thought I was going to say goodbye to the 200's forever. I plateau!!!!I was 201, and then started flip flopping between 201 and 204!!! What the hell!!!! I'm trying not to get too down on myself, but I don't know what else to do! Uugh!!! I was so close to 199!!! Any suggestions?

Hi, Everybody! I don't know why bit it seems the only time I post anything is when I have something negative to say! Sorry about that! So before I start rambling let me share some good news. I'm down 25 lbs.!!!!!!I have saggy but in all of my clothes, and I actually bought a size large tank top. I couldn't believe it! NO X's or XX's or XXX's. That was very exciting. So on to my complaining, last night I don't know why but I wanted to eat, I mean really eat like a fat plate of something and take big bites and enjoy it! So I was alittle pissy just thinking that I might not ever enjoy food again, Yah, I know that was my problem but, never is a really long time, so I started having the what the hell did I do to myself thoughts, wich didn't help. I thought I'd get up this morning and feel better but I'm still bummed! Seriously? I can't believe I'm so bummed about food! The food that made me the way I am. What's my problem!It doesn't help that every time I eat no matter what it is, how much I chew, and how slowly I eat, it always feels like something is stuck, which leads to constant uncomfortable feeling, and it's really annoying and... I've been really tired lately, I thought to tiredness was over, but I guess not, oh, and I have to go back to work tomorrow!!!! Yah, I know I'm full of good stuff today! But I had to get it out because no one else understands, I feel like I'm going crazy! 

UUUUUGH!!!! I'm never eating ever again!!!! Why does it always hurt?!!!!!! Will I ever feel normal again?!!!!

Hello Everybody!It's been 10 days since my surgery, and I'm not feeling like so much of a baby anymore. The pain is almost completely gone, and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm down 13 pounds!!!YAY!!!!! I'm still working on getting all of my water in, I realize now that I drank alot of water before but most was done by gulping alot at a time which I can't do anymore, so I'm trying to get used to this. I'm also trying to get most of my protien in. This new lifestyle is definately going to take alot of  practice juggling water, protien, vitamins and other meds. But I"m staying optimistic that it will all be worth it. I tried on my jeans yesterday and they're no looser so.. I'm must have lost it in my pinky or somethingbut at least it's gone! I haven't thrown up yet but I thought it was comin the other day. I strained some black bean soup trying to find alittle variety with this liquid stuff, and it wasn't such a good idea My tummy didn't like that too much. I'm not sure if it was the mild spice of the soup or the beans. But I'm doing that again!!!!

Hello! So tomorrow will be one week since my surgery, and I don't know if I'm being a baby or if this pain is real. I thought I'd be done with pain meds by now! They taste so bad! And they make me so sleepy. I've been really bitchy but It seems like everyones really annoying lately!  I don't think my family realizes that I just had my guts cut and rearranged and that, I might be in pain and not able to do the normal mom/wife duties, I'm geeting no sympathy! So maybe that's why I'm bitchy!!! I'd like to see my husband go through this surgery!!! Huh, yah right!!!!So yah, I'm aliilte upset, but mostly hurt I just don't think he gets it. And I thought it would be different! I don't mean to bag on my husband he is wonderful usually, like I said I don't think he's realizing the whole cutting my stomach in half and rearranging thing!