alondralouise2
February 9, 2009
Feb 09, 2009
hello everyone! I thought i would post an update on my progress and my sucess's and bumps in the road, I can now shower alone! yeah! I can also get my legs in the car by myself yeah! I am having even more sever pain with my nueropothy, the pain is more than i have ever had in my life, i am supposed to be going to a pain clinic but i have to wait for them to call me, i hope it's soon because i dont know how much more i can take, seriously from 1-10 the pain is a 15! and it's day and nig ht and is getting worse not better, i am on lyrica and have had my medication increased more than once but it dosen't seem to be doing anything, I pray to god that he heals my legs and feet. I dont know my exact weight but last week i was 340! i just wish i could burn calories! im using my walker as much as i can but im so tired because each night i get a maximum of 4 hours of sleep and the rest of the nig ht is spent crying and screaming in pain. let's hope things get better though :)January 8, 2009
Jan 08, 2009
i wanted to thank everyone that has emailed me with kind words of support and prayers, they get me through my bad days. Not all days are bad. they are becoming fewer and fewer and i guess for right now that's all i can ask for. Today when visiting nurses came by for a visit it was someone new and she asked what happened to me, i explained about my surgery and when i woke up i couldnt feel below my knees and i can't feel or move my feet. then i explained all i've been through since then.. she looked at me with these questioning eyes and asked me, aren't you angry? you look so kind and you look like you just accepted this. After she said this i thought, Am i that good of a liar? Maybe it's good that she can't see how hurt and still in shock i am in. She told me with a story like mine i should write a book. lol. I told her their are thousands of stories like mine on this web site, it's just not all of us can get the strength to say it. Im walking with my walker more now, It hurts so bad to walk and to do my therapy, somedays i just go in my bedroom and cry because i dont know how much more pain i can take and i know that i have such a long way to go, then again i've come this far, and maybe.. just maybe i can keep going. As i said these bad days are becoming fewer and fewer. I'm doing a little better each day. I miss the old me that could walk, do errands, drive. never had to ask for any help except to put on my socks lol but then again this old me was almost 500 lbs and dying. I guess i made a trade.. Now i get to live.. i get to see my family, they dont have to see me slowly die because of a stupid cheeseburger in my hand. I get to see my new baby nephew grow up! And that alone is a gift from god.. and dr. nagle. lol
January 3, 2009
Jan 03, 2009
2009 is finally here! happy new year! i am walking with my walker alot more now, it hurts so bad on my back but i know my body/back has to get used to being used again, i can acually go to the bathroom now insted of the camode! that's a big step for me! It's hard to walk with the walker sometimes but im doing it. My diabetic nueropathy is getting so bad! it feels like electric bolts shooting through my feet and lower legs! it's not so bad during the day but when i go to lie down in bed.. i mean the very second i lay down at anytime it starts up and dosen't stop untill i stand up, i dont know what to do, i need sleep so bad! i'm on lyrica for it but it does little good.December 30, 2008
Dec 30, 2008
Well i feel like i went 10 steps forward and then 9 steps back. I had this pain on my left side, i thought i pulled a muscle due to physical therapy, well i think it was the night before christmas eve when i couldnt take the pain anymore, it was constant and a very very sharp painfull pain, we called 911 because their were alot of snow and we didnt know how we would get me and my wheelchair to the car, well at the ER they couldn't find out what was wrong so they sent me home with 20 pain pills, i went home and took them and they didnt work.. the next night on christma eve we had to call 911 again, the ER contact Dr. Nagles office and he wanted me up at Northwestern Memorical Hospital in chicago with him, So off i went in ambulance was admitted. we did alot of blood tests and a ct scan, they found i have a perforated ulcer, as well as a hernia as well as some fluid collecting. What luck! lol I just came home yesterday on December 29th, i couldnt wait to come home, i kept having flashbacks of before,, breathing tubes, needles.. i mean i know i was safe but i was scared.. i didnt know if i could take another operation so soon, I felt alone and scared with my family so far away, my family was so busy with the new baby also. I do need another operation But dr. nagle wants to wait untill i loose more weight. Im scared of the next operation but im trying not to think about it, im thinking of learning to walk again, laying for a week oor more in bed i feel really weak again so i got work ahead of me, i just pray that i can do all of this, i pray to god that i have the inner strength, I thanked Dr. nagle for saving my life, he really did. GOOD NEWS: im down to 348 lbs as of the 24th of december!
1 comment
December 18, 2008
Dec 18, 2008
i'm so tired of being sick to my stomache 24-7 and so tired of being in pain too! not a moment goes by where i'm not in pain and or sick to my stomach, my family dosen't understand and i'm told " just stop throwing up " like i can help it, im tired of being made to be a liar, like i don't realize i'm a burden. im so tired of this.. i want to crawl in a hole and cry and be left alone.. i want to say screw the therapy, screw the food screw the pills they don't help anyway.. but i know i can't, i know i got to keep going.. i don't want to though.. at least not today i don't.. i dont want to.. December 17 2008
Dec 17, 2008
well today i had more physical therapy and i find myself hating it.. not just therapy just hating everything in general, i don't undertand, i couldn't wait to get home.. to get home and to start getting better and start my new life but now that i am home i just want to be left alone to cry and feel sorry for myself, i know i need to be back on my depression medication but untill today i couldnt get out of the house but now i have a ramp so i can get to my doctor whichi belive is this friday the 19th. I want to slap myself and say wake up! you didnt die and your alive! yet another part of me screams back.. i can't walk.. i cant' do anything myself! why bother trying! My back pain has been horrible these past few days along with the diabetic nuropothy pains but things could be alot worse right? i uploaded an update video on youtube if anyone is intrested it's frogsrfriendsnotfood is my youtube username. i fou nd out that i LOVE watermelon and pineapple! i swear i could eat it every meal! ha ha i would rather have that over anything at the moment and i hope it lasts so guess what's in my fridge? you guessed it! lots of watermelon and pineapple but i know i still need to get my protien in and im having so much trouble getting it in!!
First Update Since Surgery On August 11th 2008
Dec 15, 2008
Hello everyone! First of all let me say how sorry i am for not updating sooner, i havnen't been on the computer much untill recently it's been so hard to stay awake and concentrate but im getting better slowly day by day, I did have my surgery on August 11th 2008 and even though i fasted it did no good as far as the liver shrinkage but Dr. Nagle took 9 hours ( god bless him ) and did the surgery! He had to do it open but he did it! He had to go back in once or twice due to infections after that, and with my respitory failure i had a trek put in my throat and i was in a induced coma ( AGAIN! ) for about 3 or 4 weeks i think. I woke up in ICU seeing pineapple floating by! lol i guess i was craving pineapple lol anyway since the su rgery i have had constant infections untill i finally came home the day before thanksgiving, I must of spent 2 weeks after that sleeping and catching up on sleep and rest. From the moment i woke up i noticed that i couldnt feel anything from my feet to half way to my knees, i am completly numb and i am in a wheelchair and doing therapy to learn how to walk again and how to do everything again, the doctors think it's from diabetic nuropothy, i miss driving and i miss walking, i miss doing alot of things.. i hate asking people for help with everything but i pray one day i can walk again and able to do things like i used to but this friday i will be going to the doctor and i will get my weight! i can't wait. When i left the Van matre rehab center here in rockford il the day before thanksgiving i was around 380 i think. so much has been foggy. I wanted to thank all of you for all your kind emails! It's so nice to know that their are people that care out their! i've been so nausea's with each meal and that with the severe pain of the nuropothy sometimes i just sit and cry but i know i'll get through this! Monday August 11 is surgery
Aug 09, 2008
well here we go! i have one day before surgery!! i can't belive im finally here! finally after all this time! i want to cry yet im so scared.. not of the operation.. and i know i can get through the recovery.. what im scared of is what if they can't do it? what if my liver is still too big.. but i know i can't think that way! here's to hoping!!! Thank you all so much for messaging me and helping me think positive!!!
6 days to go before surgery! OMG this came so fast!
Aug 05, 2008
Omg i can't belive that my surgery is less than a week away! Monday August 11th i will go in for surgery! i'm very nervous and i thought that i would be alot more excited than i am right now. i'm just worried i guess. What if my liver is still very big! what if they can't do the surgery again! This is my last hope.. on the other hand i know god has a plan for me and will be with me no matter what.. im just letting all these worries roll off my shoulders. Im trying so hard on this liquid diet but it's so hard but im trying the best i can. today i ate a rice cake! ifelt so bad but my stomche felt better, it's like when i take my shakes my stomche gets full then about 1/2 hour later it says " ok that was funny, now can i have some real food now". i pray that they are able to do the surgery on monday.
July 23, 2008
Jul 23, 2008
Ok, 
Why is this so frigging hard? You would think this would be so simple. i take my shakes during the day and broth but it's no where near enough says my tummy .. then my mind tells my tummy ( oh shut up you've been in charge long enough ) and so the bickering begins between my tummy and my mind. I am trying my hardest! I wish this would get easier. Is this what it's going to be like after surgery? I hope it will be easier. Im starting to doubt that i can do this after all.. It's just to hard but then i know i have to. I hope Dr. Nagle is able to do the gastric bypass on August 11th! But knowing my luck i'll wake up from a coma and then my mom will tell me i'm sorry they couldn't do it.. But im trying to think of good thoughts..
Why is this so frigging hard? You would think this would be so simple. i take my shakes during the day and broth but it's no where near enough says my tummy .. then my mind tells my tummy ( oh shut up you've been in charge long enough ) and so the bickering begins between my tummy and my mind. I am trying my hardest! I wish this would get easier. Is this what it's going to be like after surgery? I hope it will be easier. Im starting to doubt that i can do this after all.. It's just to hard but then i know i have to. I hope Dr. Nagle is able to do the gastric bypass on August 11th! But knowing my luck i'll wake up from a coma and then my mom will tell me i'm sorry they couldn't do it.. But im trying to think of good thoughts.. About Me
Rockford, IL
Location
61.6
BMI
Surgery
08/11/2008
Surgery Date
Surgeon
May 16, 2000
Member Since
