allminethistime

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Its been 15 days and I have lost 21 pounds.  Things are starting to slow down but still coming off pretty quick.  I am not in pain anymore at all.  I am itchy all over my belly where the wounds are.  They are healing nicely and I dont think I will scar except for one of the cuts.  Hopefully a nice tummy tuck and boob job will take care of that!  Anyhow - all is going well and rather uneventful - which is a good thing.

1 week post op and I have lost 15 lbs.!!!!  I never thought it would fall off of me like this.  Every morning I get on the scale and I lose another 2 lbs.  -  its CRAZY.  Not that I am complaining. I know I won't keep up this pace but WOW.

Today for the first time since surgery I am starting to notice that the pain is lessening.  When I woke up I could stand straight up and not hunch over.  I did not wake in the middle of the night due to pain and the need to take pain medicine.  Yeah!!!  Now I feel like I concentrate on following the program as opposed to licking my wounds.  Don't get me  wrong I am still hurting when I turn or lie on my side or try to bend over.  The liquid diet has been pretty hard on me.  My stomach is constantly and loudly growling.  I am not necessarily hungry but I desperately want something of substance in my mouth.  I am not craving cookies or anything bad like that but more like crunchy vegetables or meat. - Weird.  Anyhow I have to admit that last night about 2 am I cheated.  I had 1 oz. of cheddar cheese.  I know - way wrong, but I rationalize that if I chew it really good with lots of saliva its actually a liquid!  Ha - no no I know its not and it was bad.  egg day is Sunday and I will hold out for it from here on out.  woot woot egg day!!.

I am now 2 days post-op.  I gotta say I feel pretty bad.  My stomach hurts something awful.  I am coughing up sputum and not sure why as I did not have a cold or anything before surgery.  I can't lie down on my sides or stomach just my back which is very uncomfortable.  My stomach is growling from hunger but I don't feel hungry - weird.  All in all I am miserable.  I am also worried about blood clots. The hospital I went to took such extravagant measures to make sure I didn't get them that I am now creeped out and afraid I will get one here at home.

Other than my whining I still think I made a good decision to get it done.  The hospital was exceptionally great.  Everyone was friendly and efficient.  The hospital was clean and organized.  I would highly recommend Shawnee Mission Medical Center.  Dr. Hoehn I assume did a  good job.  I saw him briefly the day after surgery.

I am living on pain medicine and popsicles right now, hopefully that will change in a day or two.  I will blog soon.

4 more days!!!  I don't know what to feel right now.  It seems so surreal that in 4 days I will be under the knife.  I guess at this point I am less concerned about dying or food issues and more concerned about pain.  I am terrified it will hurt so bad I won't be able to stand it.  It's funny, I have always been able to tolerate pain well.  Giving birth - no problem, but put me in a dentist's chair and I scream.  So I am freaking that I won't be able to tolerate the pain.  Also I am freaking that I don't want narcotics for pain pills cuz I know myself and I would like that WAY too much. 

Other than the pain issue I think I am ready.  I have all my pre-op stuff ready and I have all my post op clear liquid diet stuff.  Sugar free jello, popsicles, chicken broth, etc.  I just hope it all goes without complication.  I spent all day yesterday doing laundry, cleaning house, and mowing the grass, etc.  Nothing worse than coming home to a dirty house.  Lets just hope it stays that way over the week-end while I am working. 

The waiting is excrutiating.  July 27th can't come soon enough.  6 weeks away seems like an eternity.  I am excited though and ready for the life change.  I had an endoscopy a weekk ago and found out that I have an heital hernia.  I guess this is where your stomach gushes out of place beyond your diaphram muscle and ends up in your lung cavity.  This is apparently what has been causing my heartburn for the past 10 years and my GERD for the past 1 year.  I guess the bypass will help with this problem. 

I am excited my hubby, kids and I are going to Chicago for a week on the 24th.  We needed a vacation.  Lately it seems like my hubby and I are more roommates than lovers.  I know marriage is a cycle and there are good years and bad years.  I love him greatly and would never consider being with out him but I really wish this were a good year.  I could use the intimacy and support right now.  Maybe a vacation will get us back on track.  Sometimes getting away from the daily grind and enjoying each other again will jump start things.

I am still not telling a soul at work.  I am taking vacation days after my surgery as opposed to sick days.  This surgery would be viewed as a sign of weakness at my company and I woould be forever passed over for promotions.  Not sure yet how I will explain away the weight loss but I am thinking glandular disorder.  This is a version of the truth as I do have an odd thyroid disorder.

I am finally approved!!!  It took driving 3 hours to the surgeons office and forcing the office staff to acknowledge me and look though my file to see why they have sat on it for 2 months, but as soon as the insurance company got the information I was approved in 2 days.  Unbelievable!!! 

Now I get to call the surgeons office daily and harass them for an appointment.  I am done being nice - its time to let my inner bitch out.  Throughout this process I kept thinking getting insurance approval would be the block to my path toward a healthier life, unbeknownst to me, its the surgeons completely inept office staff that has been the problem.  I have had messages lost twice!!! This has delayed me 3 weeks time.  Then I had a fax that I even called to check to see if they received, which they had, lost which delayed me a further 2 weeks.

So, after their incompetence delays me 5 weeks time, I asked if they could move me up 1 week on my surgery date so that I don't have to inconvenience my co-workers or further delay my surgery another 2 months, they say they can't.

Had I known all this before I started this process I would have selected a different surgeon.  It doesn't matter how good a surgeon is if you can never get in to see him or even have the bloody surgery - its just not worth it.  I am starting to wonder if the office staff is just an anomaly or if the surgeon is as flaky as the staff is.

I guess we will see if I come out alive huh.

I am still waiting to hear what the next stage is for my surgery.  I have been done with my pre-appointments for a month now and the surgeon's office has yet to submit my paperwork to the insurance company.  I have been working with a lady from the insurance company for the past 6 months.  So, I called and asked her if she had heard from the surgeon's office.  She said no, that if she got the paperwork today she would approve it tomorrow!  So what gives surgeons office!!!!!  When i called and asked they said they were very busy.  Whatever.  So I guess in my case the hold up is not with the insurance company dragging their feet, its with the surgeons office dragging theirs.

Anyway, now that I am done ranting I have to tell what I did.  I got permenant make-up!  Lips and brows.  It hurts like the devil now and is very bright /dark.  But from everything I have read and from the lady that did it, told me that is typical.  Your skin apparently absorbs the ink over the course of a week and it will mellow.  I will submit before and after's when everything heals in caze anyone out there is interested in permenant cosmetic tatoos.

I have submitted all the pre-op appointments to the surgeons office and completed my 6 months doctor supervised weight loss program.  The surgeons office is preparing my letter of medical necessity to send with all my records to the insurance company.  I am hoping it will be any day now that I can start calling and hounding the insurance company.  I really want to get the surgery done the first week of May.  I have an odd job in which my schedule puts me off work for one week every 6 weeks and then I have two weeks of easy work that I could call in.  Anyway, in addition to my weird schedule, I am working on my MBA and my spring semester will be over the first week of May and won't start up again until mid June.  If I can't have the surgery  in May I will have to wait till August when all the planets are aligned again.

I am getting so excited!!  It is all I can think of.  Every day I come home and log on to OH and read profiles and questions and look at before and afters.  I'm quite obsessed.  I really hope all goes well and I can have my health and self confidence back.  I also hope I can start sharing with others again and letting people in.  I am not sure why, but I have major trust issues.  Even though the psychiatrist approved me for surgery, I think I may see a counselor during this transition anyway just to help me sort through those trust issues and help my progression into a new person.

Well, I had my Psych appointments and nutrition appointment this week.  I lucked out - they were able to fit it all in this week.  So....I guess now I wait for the surgeons office to call me and schedule my next round of appointments.  The Psychiatrist told me in clinical terms that I was bull headed and reserved in showing my emotions.  Boy he hit that nail on the head!  Even still he ok'd me for the surgery. 

The nutritionist appointment was as I expected - nothing news to me.  Although, she suggested I leave the pans on the stove and make the family get up to refill their plates as opposed to leaving the serving dishes and pans on the table for people to fill up on for seconds.  I never thought about that before.  Good idea!