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Well, tomorrow it will be three weeks since I was sleeved. I am doing pretty good now. I get tired by the end of the day but other than that I feel pretty good. Now I can say when I am eating sometimes I get to feeling pretty icky feeling but it passes fairly quickly. I know I am probably eating too much and that is why it hurts but if I don't keep eating I don't eat much of anything and then I start to feel hungry, (probably head hunger, thinking I just did not eat enough). I am not sure what to do about it. I think I will email my nutritionist. I am also trying to get in more protein. If I stopped when I start to feel bad I wouldn't eat hardly anything. So, any way, My incisions don't hurt. I have been using my peddler at home and then I walked at work yesterday and did the stationary bike and did an upper body workout with a new friend I made at my new job. It felt really good. I totally enjoyed it! I am weighing on Sundays so last Sunday I had lost 19 pounds in 17 days. My husband is under a ton of stress right now and doesn't like me working. I worry about him. He works late and we don't see each other very much. The stress of the new job and the issues with the farm/my husband, hasn't made this transition any easier. I have been tempted to eat and with the Easter candy everywhere, can we say, not easy. But so far, so good. I know this is my new life and I am ready to embrace it, with all of the head issues I know I will face! God will be there for me! God will be my crutch and my strength. I want to turn to Him when I have head hunger. I am very tired tonight so I guess I will go now and go to bed. GN OH.

I had my surgery 2 days ago, on Wednesday. I was suprised at the amount of pain I had and how sleepy I was. I was out a good portion of the day on Wednesday. I learned soon that not only did I have the sleeve done but hiatal hernia repair as well.  I have 6 incision sites ranging in size from 2 inches to 1/2 inch. I have been very sore and I have really struggled with learning to drink with smaller, less frequent swallows. I am very tired. I want to rest but I have forced myself to stay up and just rest a small amount. I have been vigilent with my incentive spirometry and leg exercised to help prevent complications. I don't think it has really hit me yet. I am just going through the motions. I think maybe in a week or two it'll all sink in. I have been drinking my liquids and having one protien shake a day so far. My tummy itches. I think I will go to bed early tonight.

One more day... this time tomorrow we will be arriving at the hospital to get checked in. Wow! I can't believe it's here. I have been going through this for so long or so it seems. I know 6 month really is a short time in the sceme of a life time but the last 6 months have been torturous. Making the decision to have surgery has not been an easy one. Now that is here, I am nervous, sad, scared, excited and worried. I am a worrier by nature so it does not suprise me that I am so worried and nervous. I just want this to go well. I got MRSA with my knee surgery and it has ruined my life. I pray that this surgery will help that. I just don't want to have any complications. I trust my surgeon and the facility. I trust God! Today will be clear liquids only. Tomorrow I will wake up from surgery a changed person... changed forever. I can do this. I want to get thin and feel better! I want to get off all of this blood pressure and  cardiac medicine. I want my knee and my back to feel better! I want to play with my kids again. I want to feel like I am living life again and not just going through the motions. I pray God will help me! I pray God will guide me. I pray the Holy Spirit will rest upon me and give me peace.

Surgery is scheduled for one week from today. I am so very nervous. I am excited and ready, but I wonder what it will be like learning to eat and drink with my new pouch. I want this to work and I want to change my eating habits for life! I don't ever want to get fat again. The past few days I have been working with the family cutting down large trees and working in the garden. I am so sore and out of shape every part of my body hurts. I want so very much to get in shape and be thin. I feel this is an answer to prayer. I know God has opened this door. I am ready to start my life over with a renewed purpose and dedication. Now I nervously wait as the days go bye leading to transformation day!

Went to the Dr. yesterday and I have lost the weight I needed to to be able have my surgery. My 6 months are up and once we have insurance approval. Everything is ready to send off to insurance. I have my pre-surgery diet class next week! My patient advocate nurse said we should hear something in a couple of weeks and then we can move forward with scheduling. She penciled me in on March 29 because I told her my birthday is on the 28th and it would make a GREAT birthday present. I am SOOOOOOOO Excited. It is finally here. I have finally wrapped my mind around it and emotionally dealt with some of my issues. It has been a long road of processing and decision making for me. I have struggled with this decision and emotionally struggled with the idea of having to make all of the changes. It was a real wake-up call when I was first weighed and realized I was 110 pounds overweight and almost morbidly obese. Then came the realization that with my knee, my back, and my congenital heart defect I will never be able to get the weight off without the surgery. The Lord has walked with me through this process.
Yesterday was so liberating and exciting to know that I am here. Dr. Walton said to keep working on losing more weight until the surgery because that will only help so I will. I have finally come to peace with my new diet and lifestyle. I know I can do this. I know there will be times when I will mess up but I also know I do not ever want to feel this way or be this heavy again! I don't want to go back to eating and living like a sloth! 
I know God will be with me through this and continue to help me!!!!
WOO HOOO! I can't wait to hear I'm approved and let's go!

1# lean ground beef (browned)
8 oz low fat shredded pizza cheese blend
Marinara sauce of choice (read sugar content on label or make your own)
1/2 cup shredded or grated parmesan cheese
8 oz frozen spinach (sqeezed of excess liquid)
2 medium eggplant (sliced thin lengthwise) (I peeled mine)
2 -3 assorted baby summer squash (sliced thin lengthwise)
1 carton low fat cottage or ricotta cheese
1 egg beaten (mix with cottage or ricotta cheese to make layer more firm and less runny)
Extra virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic

Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Take about 1/4 cup olive oil and warm in a heat proof container in the microwave. Add whole garlic (to create garlic infused oil) - set aside.
Line a cookie sheet with parchemnt paper. Place eggplant slices on a cookie sheet and brush both sides with garlic olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Do the same with the summer squash, be careful not to overlap. Plave cookie sheet in oven and roast the vegetables for about 30-45 minutes until softened.
In a casserole dish, bursh additional olive oil on bottom and sides of dish. Place a small amount of marinara sauce on the bottom of the dish. Begin with a layer of eggplant, then spread a layer of cottage cheese mixture. Next layer some of the ground meat, sauce, and top with shredded cheese.
Next layer, use spinach and squash instead of past. Then add cottage cheese, meat, sauce, and cheese. Continue alternating layers usuing the vegetables instead of pasta. Top with remainder of marinara sauce and cheese.
Bake at 350 for about 1 hour. Let rest about 20 minutes so that juices can firm up before cutting. 
Enjoy! 

I had a very good couple of weeks. I lost 10 pounds and felt so good about myself. Then, the food addiction and depression reared their ugly heads and triggers have been on every corner. I hate to admit it but I have been giving in. I have eaten more today than I did all week last week. I did not get the job I had applied and interviewed for. I feel like such a failure...in my personal life, in my professional life, in my spiritual life, and so much more. I feel closer to God, I feel like I am beginning to hear Him now, but then the desire to eat becomes overwhelming. I know I can do this. I believe that God will help me. I will start anew tomorrow.

I am on my way to having the gastric sleeve. I am presently 120 pounds overweight and have a BMI of about 40. I have a bad back (degenerative disk disease), a bad knee (caused by a knee surgery gone seriously bad), and a cardiac condition. With all three conditions I have been told to lose weight and get in shape. For over 13 years I have struggled with my weight. I only have 2 more months of the 6 month waiting period required by insurance for me to be able to have the surgery. I continue to struggle with my diet. I desire to follow the diet set before me but I continue to sabotage myself. I am addicted to bread and sweets. I have not lost any weight but I have not been required to at this time. I am tired. I am ready to feel better but I am nervous about the road ahead. I want to have the surgery and never go back to being fat again. I want to be able to overcome my addiction and my emotional eating. After surgery, I don't want to eat cookies or cake. I don't want to every put the weight back on. I don't want to sabotage myself after surgery as I am right now. How do I overcome this? How do I stop eating on impulse? How do I deal with the strong mental desire? It worries me. I go back to see Dr. Walton on Thursday morning. I am ready! but I am scared. The emotional turmoil continues.... I will pray about it. I know God has directed my steps to Dr. Walton and to this surgical intervention. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!