Hello Karen~~~~Do you have to see that particular psychiatrist? See someone else if you can. It is a shame to be chastised some 20 years later for experimenting with a few drugs. I will keep you in my prayers. If you must see her I would go see her again and be insisitent that you are up to the emotional issues and will continue seeing her if she would give you the go ahead. Just a few suggestions, I hope they help. I wish you all the best and I do hope you can have your surgery when the time is right. May God bless you and keep you in His peace.