Post op blog
Dec 17, 2006
I never really post anything about my journey, but I will do a quick fill in. I had my surgery on October 23, 2006. Since then (almost 2 months) I have lost 52 pounds and I feel terrific! I had some complications with my stomach swelling almost closed. I couldn't even swallow my own spit. I spent 6 days in the hospital and the problem was taken care of with steriods and fluids. I have gone from a size 4/5X to a 3X in tops. Even a 2X if it's cut just right. I eat everything and anything I want with the exception of eggs and bread. It doesn't matter how they are prepaired, just can't do it. I don't even miss them. Most days (because I'm so tight) it's hard to even get in the 1200 calories I hear so much about. I don't lack energy, my hair has not fallen out, my complexion is great and I feel wonderful. I've been asked out 3 times in the last month and my husband is acting like a different person. I don't regret this surgery for even one second. I don't eat in the car anymore for fear of having to barf. Dry food is not my friend. I have saved so much money on eating out that I have a whole new wardrobe. I've been to three parties in the last month which is three more than I went to last year. I laugh all the time. I smile all the time. I do my hair and make up EVERYDAY. I flirt. I don't weeze. My art work is thriving. I have new friends. I love life and it's only been two months. I'll update more when the wind blows me here............=o)
Poem...........~GOODBYE BIG GIRL~
Oct 16, 2006
Goodbye Big Girl, it's time for you to go,
But before you leave us, there is something you should know.....
Although there have been many times I've resented you, even cursed your image in the mirror,
I've always had quite a fondness of you and am begining to miss you as the surgery grows nearer.
Without you in my life I may not have known the true meaning of inner beauty,
I may have only been nice to the "unbeautiful people" out of a sense of duty...
You've taught me the importance of being nice to someone just because they're there,
Because as a big person I know that life can be unfair.
The stupid jokes and hurtful remarks could have made life a misery to live,
But somehow you kept us going and our heart was always there to give.
So thanks alot for everything we've been through,
I'll keep these lessons close to my heart incase another big person needs a friend too.
Goodbye Big Girl, please don't beg,
but you have to go now because I can't wait to be able to cross my legs!!!
Poem..........~The Ghost of Childs Drive~
Oct 15, 2006
Every now and then you can catch a glimpse of her,
Roaming the dark hallways of my house......
Searching for some insignifigant item of days gone by......
Seeking a light in the darkness which will never come,
A piece of mind that illudes her at every turn.
She's a meer shadow of the woman who once was,
Never saying a word, just the utter sadness one feels for a life once lived so full and bright, lost forever, never to return.....
Destined to search this house for an absolution that will never come,
Trapped forever in the darkness of her mind.
Silent moans, to tiny for any to hear, like whispers of death escape from her lips.......
The lovely ghost that haunts my halls.......
Every now and then you can catch a glimpse of her.
Some call her mom, another his wife......I call her ME ~
This poem was written after the 23 straight day at the hospital with my mom. I was feeling literally like a ghost in my own house. You could tell I once lived here and brought joy into the room, but it was like a distant memory. Anyway, just thought I would share. ~V
Poem.......One More Breath
Oct 15, 2006
As some of you know my mom has been in the hospital on life support. She's doing better now, but it was touch and go there for quite awhile. If you have ever seen anyone "code" you know what a frightening experience that can be. I was sitting with my mom in her hospital room in ICU thinking on the subject, and it hit me........
If it was that scary for me, what must my mother have been experiencing? This poem was inspired by this thought.......
Her panic exploded into the darkness, on the wings of a demon so black,
Carrying her over hills and mountains and deserts and back.
Across great plains and dark forests and oceans so deep,
With not enough air in her lungs to weep.
Fire in her chest, every muscle will ache,
Down into the depths of the bottomless lake.......
Fighting to release the darkness that envelopes her breath,
Getting calmer now, can see a light, ready to embrace death.....
Please don't go Mama! We still need you here!
The voices of her children becoming more clear........
Tears on her fingertips bringing her back to Earth,
As her children gather round, crying till it hurts.....
"I won't leave you my babies, no, not yet
I will live to see another day and pretend The Grim Reaper I have not met."
