I have never really talked about myself in this way before so bare with me here. Like most of you I too have struggled with my weight for the most part of my life. I am 5'5 and 29 years old, I am starting the weight loss journey at my all time heaviest 338. I had lap rny on 11-24-08 & from that day forward I have not looked back. I refuse to ever find that fat, unhappy, unmotivated girl again she may be hiding inside me wanting to come out but she will have to stay put and watch the rest of my life's journey just like the thin girl hiding inside me has done for years now. I will not start my thirty's like I did my twenty's, this go around I will be more confident, vibrant, motivated, & sexy!!!! I have always been the funny, outgoing, pretty face girl, that seems to have everything together, but little does everyone know I had no self confidence, & hate towards myself. I have tried every diet out there and have spent lots of money on trying to better myself with knowing that no matter what I do, it will just fail! So in the summer of "07 my husband & I were talking and I just busted into tears out of no where, and naturally he was like what's wrong, and for the first time in the ten years of being together I finally told him what I thought about myself it just all came out like a flood. All he could do was hold me and cry (from the man who never cries) b/c he was shocked to know what I really thought, he knew I was unhappy but not to this extent, he told me he was sad for me b/c never not once did he ever see me in that way. He told me that he loved me no matter what I looked like, no matter what!!! He said I will help you in any way that you want me to & that is when I brought up gastric bypass. He said are you really ready for that big of a step, b/c you know that there is no turning back after you have this surgery this is for life. I told him about all the silent research that I have been doing for the last six months, & looking into our insurance (who did not help one cent it all came out of pocket.....agggg) After that conversation it seems like the next year flew by. I went to a few seminars to decide on a surgeon, read a few books, turned our child's playroom into my personal gym (God knows I will not workout in public), I just mentally & physicly got ready for the next chapter of my life!
