black butterfly
March 15,2004.....Is where my story begins I had went to get my hair done because i was going to be starting a new job after getting done I had to stop off at the McDonalds not to get anytrhing to eat but to use the restroom, as I was entering the McDonalds their was a child coming out about the age of 11 or 12 so I politely opened the door and stepped out of the way so that he could come out never to expect what was coming next this 11 or 12 year old child rams he stomach into mine for those of you out there that dont know what this is if you watch Showtime at the Apollo it is what Steve Harvey use to do when a big male came onto the stage. I was so embarrassed, and thought to myself on the way home is this how children see me, is my child going to be teased at school when he starts at the age of 5 yrs old because he has a BIG MOMMY. So I made a choice that night to have Gastric Bypass Surgery
March 26,2004.....I went to the library today to start my research on Gastric Bypass their was so much information i didn' know where to begin so i just started out by reading other peoples stories seeing what they went through, then i purchased a book by Susan Maria Leach called Before and After Living and Eating Well After Weightloss Surgery. The book was very informative it gave me a lot of information and it also gives alot of good recipes.
April 16,2004..... I spent all day thinking about the surgery I'm guessing that i weigh about 500 pounds i would like to lose about half of that 250 pounds. The last time i can rember going to the doctoer was on July 25,2000 when my son was born a healthy 10pds 6ozs I can remeber leaving the hospital weighing 454 pounds at that time my weight really didn't seems to bother me because i was just happy having a man in my life that loved me for me.
May 18,2004..... I had my first doctors appointment to start the process for the surgery my doctor told me that i would be a good canadiate for the surgery, so he gave me my refferls so i could get started with the process. I remembered reading about Dr. Terrence Fullum in Washington DC so i marked my calendar to attend the support meeting on the 26th of the month.
March 26, 2004 .....I went to the meeting today it was very informative Dr. Fullum wasn't there I ended up meeting his partner Gary Harrington. He spoke of the surgery the good, bad and the ugly he also went through ans explained some of the test that you would need to go through prior to getting the surgery. He explained that recovery from the surgery was 2-4 weeks with a hospital stay of 2-3 days and he stressed to all the people their that it was a life style change. At the meeting I met a man who was 520 pounds was now down to 230 pounds Dr. Harrington explained that the process for testing and getting approveds for the surgery can be anywhere from 3-6 months I can't wait GOD please let there be no road blocks.
June 1, 2004 .....I am on the roll I have all of my test lines up for the month of June I depend on no one I want to enjoy the summer losing weight I got most of my test scheduled on my day off which is tuesdays June 1 I go to see the nutrionist, June 9 I go to have my mental health evaluation, June 15 I go to see my PCP and to get some bloodwork done, June 19 I got to Holy Cross Hospital to have my sleep study done, June 22 I got to get my EGD and on June 29 I go to get my cardiac clearance. I still need to have a endocrinologist consult and a venous doppler study that i would have to have my PCP order the test for I am on my way.
June 15, 2004..... It's getting closer today I had my blood work done everything is going very well and smoothly for me so far I hope that it's easy to get APPROVED I have 4 more test I am on my way to the losing side I meet with the surgeon on July 14, 2004 I would like to have the surgery before or on my birthday the would be a nice birthday gift to myself.
July 6, 2004..... today was an ok day I had my upper gi today and it went well I was nervous but everything was over very quickly. I talked to one of my girlfriends today who i haven't talked to for a while and I started talking about the surgery come to find out that she had gotten the surgery almost a year ago and had already lost 100 pounds. She had the same doctor that I was considering to do my surgery she told me that he was very nice and that he was a very good surgeon who was very polite and answered all of her questions.
July 4, 2004 .....Today i met the surgeon he was very nice the only problem was that I was meeting with Dr. Gary Harrington i was confused I wanted Dr. Fullum to do the surgery but i was reassured that Dr. Harrington was well qualified to do the surgery because he taught Dr. Fullum how to do the surgery closed so that you wouldn't have the long scar in the center of your chest. Dr. Harrington was very soft spoken and pleasent he answered all of my questions that I asked then it was time for the weight in I got on the scale and it read 547 I almost cried actually I did cry once I got back to my car. Shit that is almost 600 pounds almost 3 people good god I am huge. I have 2 more test to complete some of them got pushed back but Dr. Harrington say that he doesn't need the test to have my approved now I'm just waiting on my PCP to write the letter so that i can submit my information the the insurance company UNITED HEALTHCARE through the state of maryland.
July 20,2004 ..... I finished all of my testing on the 18th of the july I hated doing the sleep study with all the wires in your hair you not able to move because you are hooked up to a breathing machine that was one of the worse night sleep i have ever had. I hated sleeping with that oxygen mask. Now its the waiting game how long will it take once my paperwork is all turned in will it take for me to be approved. I got my results back from my UPPER GI and that doctor says that iI have a infection of the stomach lining and that it would have to be cleared up before i could have the surgery.
July 27,2004..... Today neighborcare is suppose to be bringing out my CPAP machine my sleep study test came back and I have Sleep Apnea they say. Well all of my paperwork is in and it's finally ready to be submitted, here goes nothing.
July 30, 2004 .....Today is an happy day its my birthday today and I AM APPROVED Alfrida called me from DR. HArringtons office and told me that I was approved with UNITED HEALTHCARE we set the surgery date for AUGUST 12. Yes today is the happiest day of my life I thought that this day would never come. I just knew that something was goint to get in the way of me being approved. GOD must have known that i really wanted this. I am finally going to be on the losing side.
Aug 5, 2004 ..... Today is exactly 1 week until the suregery I am very nervous and excited at the same time I have called everyone to let them know that I was going to have the surgery I have no worries and I trust in my surgeon I know that everything is going to be ok. I have to get a filter placed on Wednsday they said the filter was to prvent blood clots from traveling to my heart, the day before the surgery then its the big day I have so much to get done before that day.
August 10, 2004 .....Today i got my hair braided because i know i am not going to have the energy to anything after the surgery. I am going to be having my surgery in 2 days I can't wait. I have been trying to eat all of my favorite foods beofre the surgery and I am going to have 1 last big meal of my choice. I am so excited.
August 11, 2004 .....I went to Holy Cross to have my filter put in I was so scared because they are going to have to sedate me. They told me that the procedure would only take about an hour. They put me on a metal table and strapped down my arms and legs and wheeled me in a cold room I was shaking before I was wheeled the the room I begin to cry because they told me that they where going to put the filter in through my neck my jugular vein who wouldn't be scared. I was awake for the whole procedure, after it was over I was wheeled in another room to recovery for 2 hours before i was allowed to go home. For a couple of days my neck was sore. It wasn't that bad I had no pain or no discomfort I guess I overreacted. From there went went straight to OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE for my last meal I ordered a blooming onion, hot wings, a loaded baked potatoe with the works I was stuffed i ended up taken the rest of my food home never did get a chance to finish it though my boyfriend and son ate the rest for me. Tommorrow will I will begin a new life.
August 12,2004..... Today is the day I woke up this morning had butterflies in my stomach I had to be in the WASHINGTON ADVENTIST at 6:30am the procedure wasn't until 8:30am my mother was on her way to meet me there. Once at the hospital I had to fill out alot of paperwork, my mother and my boyfriend was scared but they were trying there best to hide it, they didn't do to well it was ok because I wasn't scared I was ready this is they day I had been waiting on. 7:00 am came and they called me back they gave me an IV and had me go to the bathroom then all the diffrent doctors came in an introduced themselves and explained the roles that they were going to play with my surgery. I was nodding on and off so was my mother. My boyfriend he came prepared he had brought the dvd player and we were in the hospital watching man on fir with denzel washington. Finally I was awaken by Dr. Harrington he was coing to introduce himself to the family my mother was looking at him as if was an alien she said that he looked like he was 2 yrs old (refering to how young he look) and she told be that she was suprised that he was black I just smile and laughed. It is know 9:00am and they have just come to get me to wheel me in the room my boyfriend and my mother was allowed to go down the hall with me they both gave me a kiss and I was wheeled into the operating room, I felt like I was on the TV show NIP TUCK they were playing oldies but goodies, singing and playing, I can remember someone placing a mask over my face telling me to breath deeply then darkness I was out cold, the next thing I remember was a womens voice saying MRS. GOODWIN wake up were done, it was over an I was still alive thank god I have made it to the other side I was then wheeled into this recovery room where the nurses continued to care for me check my tempature I can remember coming out of the anethesia and feeling sick to my stomach I had to vomit but nothing would come up my mouth was so dry I asked the nurses for a cup of water but they said that I couldn't have any that I could have some ice, anything was better than nothing because right now my mouth was feeling like a cotton ball. Once I was up and talking I was then wheeled into my room where I then saw my mother and boyfriend waiting with smiles on there faces. My boyfriend had to leave the room because he instantly broke out into a cold sweat I thought that the nurses was going to have to get him a bed but after a few minutes he was fine. I was told that the surgery took about 1hour and 1/2 my gall bladder was also taken out during the process because I had gallstones. I was really in no pain the nurses came in quite often to give me pain medicine and to put the pressure pump on my feet to keep my blood circulating. For the next several hours I continue to drift in and out of sleep at this time I'm still feeling sick they said it was from all of the medications and I was eating ice to keep my mouth moist. Later that night around 12:30am the nurse came into the room and YELLED its time to walk they had me walking up and down the hall I was pretty good at it no pain what so ever.
August 13, 2004..... Today Dr. Harrington came in with the diet that I going to be on for the next 2 weeks which was 1 medicine cup of jello, crystal light, water, chicken broth and any other sugar free liquids, he asked me whether or not I wanted to go home but I decided to stay in the hospital for another day because I was scared of going home to soon. All today I spent calling friends letting everyone know that I was ok spent some of the day resting and walking around the hospital just trying to recover.
August 14,2004 .....The surgery went well it took close to 2 hours to complete they also had to remove my gallbladder, i feel ok though today i ate 1 cube of jello and 2 ozs of chicken broth and its crazy because i feel full now its time for the weight loss I had surgery on the 12th so the 12th of each month I'm going to be taking updated pictures to see my progress. the doctor says that I can take a shower tommorrow I can't wait.
August 15,2004 ..... Its been hard trying to get the medicine down drinking your fluids and trying not to forget to eat but I have been getting through I haven't been having a craving for anything. I still haven't gone to the bathroom yet but the doctor says that is to be expected because I'm really no eating anything.
August 19,2004 ..... today is i whole week since the surgery I have been feeling fine I have no pain and my scar are healing fine I have not been taking any of the pain medication I have been walking a little bit but I must admit that I have cheated a several times. I have to get my food addiction under control. I had several chinese noodles, a piece of orange chicken, 2 pieces of shrimp and about 8 french fries but these were all on diffrent days. I wonder if I have lost any weight yet it doesn't seem like it my last weight was 541 6 pounds down from 547.
August 25,2004 ..... Today is my sisters birthday today and I went to the doctor today and got weighed I'm coming down I am now 518 down from 547 thats a total loss of 29 pounds yea I'm losing weight.
September 1, 2004 ,.....I don't feel like I have lost anymore weight but everytime I eat eggs and grits I really get sick and overly stuffed after a couple of bites I have to remember to eat and chew my food very slowly.
September 9, 2004 .....Today I went to the doctor lost another 10 pounds down to 508 I cheated a little I need to start to exercise omg 10 more pounds down from aug 25 September 12, 2004 Today is exactly 1 month since the surgery time sure does flys it has been great I can't weigh myself everyday but the last time I was weighed I was down 40 pounds quite good for 1 month. Now that I have alittle more energy I'm looking to start exercising no complaints and the scars are healing very well.
September 22, 2004..... Today I went to the doctors I weigh now 499 pds I am losing about 5 pds a week.
September 28, 2004..... I went back to work on the 27th and everyone noticed that I lost weight I am very happy I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I can't weight until I at least dropp 100 pounds or are able to fit into a pair of jeans.
October 13, 2004 ..... Today I went to the doctors today I weight 473 that 26 pounds from the 28th of september all together I have lost a total of 74 pds in my first 2 months. November 12, 2004 Went to the doctor today I weigh 467 I started at 547 thats a toltal weightloss of 80 pds in 3 months exactly.
December 11, 2004 .....Thanksgiving was good I was able to eat alittle bit of food. I at least got a taste of everything. Today is 1 month since my last weigh in I hope that I have lost 100 pds by now but I still can't weight myself on a regular scale so lets just hope for now.
December 30, 2004...... I started a new job.... its ok...i hate starting new jobs becasue i have always been the biggest person at all places most of the times but no this time its actually to other heavy set people that worked their.....i cant wait to starting really droping weight i wond what type of person would i be.....would i be changed by the weightloss.....or will i remain this same shyt person stuck in this shell
January 1, 2005 ..... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE Today is the start of the New Year Christmas was good I got to chance to eat some good food and I enjoyed some sugarfree ice cream the last year August 12 was the start of a new life for me it has been nothing but good things that have followed and I expect the same in 2005.
January 7, 2005 Today I went to the doctors and I got weighed I now weigh 435 pounds omg I am still losing weight the doctor says that I am doing very well for being 5 months out. I still can't eat much food I find that my stomach is more relaxed in the late evening therefore I can consume a little more food at that time of the day.
FEBUARY 11,2005 today i went to the doctors i have lost another 15 pounds i am know down to 423 in 6 months i feel really great and can actually see the weight loss. I am know buying smaller clothes and actually enjoy shopping
April 28, 2005 today is an ok day i am happy that i purchased a scale it was $69.00 and the capacity of the scales goes up to 550 pounds, so i cant wait to receive it. I am now 37 weeks out......... my BMI started at 66.6 % and my weight at that time was 547 pounds and that was on August 12, 2004 i am now 8 months out and I am down to 423 pounds and my BMI is at 51.6, medically my ideal weight should be 181 pounds but i would be happy if i can get down 220-200 so my weekly loss is about 3.4 pounds per week I will keep you posted with my progress
May 4, 2005 Today i got my scale from my weigh the scale goes up to 550 pounds the price was less than 70.00 and that included shipping i weighed myself today and i am offically down to 393 pounds.......my last weight was on Feb 11, 2005 and 11 weeks later i am down 30 more pounds i am so happy.
Aug 12, 2005 TODAY IS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SINCE HAVING WLS I AM DOWN 187 POUNDS AN FEELING GREAT I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO MY GOAL WEIGHT IS 200 BUT I AM WELL ON MY WAY MY CURRENT WEIGHT NOW IS 360.
AUG 31, 2005 THIS WEEK HAVE BEEN A WILD WEEK I HAVE INCREASED MY PROTEIN AND THIS WEEK ALONE LOST ANOTHER 5 POUNDS BRINGING MY WEIGHT DOWN TO MY MINI GOAL OF 350 POUNDS NOW TIME TO START WITH THE OTHER MINI GOAL OF 300 POUNDS I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF.
SEPT 10, 2005 THIS WEEK HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING SO GOOD MY STOOL HAVE BEEN DARK BROWN ALMOST BLACK WITH MILD STOMACH PAINS FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, I REALLY HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EAT TO MUCH OF ANYTHING EITHER AS A RESULT I HAVE LOST ANOTHER 5 POUNDS BRING MY WEIGHT DOWN TO 345 PONDS, I CALLED THE DOCTOR AND HE PUT ME ON PROLSAC OTC TO SEE IF THAT HELPS HE SAYS IF IT DOESN'T THEN I WOULD HAVE TO COME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM SO THAT THEY CAN DO A BIOPSY OF MY STOMACH WHICH IS KINDA SCARY WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED.
OCT 30,2005 THE LAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN SO GREAT. I HAVE GOTTEN TO ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, I ATTEND THE WLS GATHERINGS AT MARTINIS, WERE I MET SEXXIE SCORPIO AND HER FRIEND MOE, MADAME RODREGIUEZ, HONEY BEE AND HER FRIEND,SHEREE, SONG BIRD, AND PHAT LEXUS AND HER FRIEND RODGER.... SORRY IF I LEFT OUT A FEW NAMES. THEN I ATTENDED THE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AT PRESIDENTS INN, BOY DID I HAVE SO MUCH FUN...... AND WAS DRUNK AS A SKUNK, THERE I GOT TO MEET MORE OF YOU'LL WLS FOLK , EVERYONE LOOKED SO GOOD .....NEXT TIME I HAVE TO TRY SOME OF THEM STRAWBERRYS TOO. THEN I ATTENED MS PRAISE TOY PARTY, AND REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF............BROUGHT A FEW THINGS AS WELL............... AND THE GEL IN THE BATHROOM ..........IM NOT GOING TO LYE I TRIED IT AND BOY O BOY WAS IT ON WHEN I GOT HOME THAT BOYFRIEND OF MINE NVER SAW IT COMING...........GOOD GOSH THAT STUFF REALLY WORKS. LOL WEIGHTLOSS STILL COMING ALONG I NOW WEIGH 336 A TOTAL OF 211 POUNDS AND STILL LOSING, IT HAS SLOWED DOWN THOUGH BUT I AM STILL SO VERY GREATFUL, HAVE BEEN TURNING HEADS KNOW IN SIZES 22/24 AND LOVING IT. I HAVE KNOW OFFICALLY GOTTEN MYSELF INTO MODELING AND MAKEUP AGAIN......WATCH OUT THERE TOCCARA HERE I COME..........I AM JUST SO HAPPY IN THIS STAGE OF MY LIFE.
DECEMBER 13,2005 IT IS ALMOST GEARING TOWARD THE NEW YEAR.....I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 227 POUNDS MY STARTING WEIGHT WAS 547 POUNDS ....BOY HAVE I COME A LONG WAY. THROUGH MY JOURNEY I HAVE GONE THROUGH MY UPS AND DOWNS AND I STILL DAY TO DAY STRUGGLE WITH FOOD.
Jan 09,2006 today i am feeling very normal ......i had this surgery over 18 months ago i started out weighing 547 pounds and today my weight as at a stand still at 317 pounds i am very blessed that i have lost so much weight and somtimes i have found that on some days i feel i eat way to much, even though its no where how i use to eat but for me i feel guilty at times when i eat .....even though it still seems as if i were losing inches right now i wears a size 18/20 top.... size 22 skirts....... and 26 pants btw i just love wearing slacks...they just make you feel so grown and sexy.... i must confess that i have not been doing the things that i need to do to make this a lifestyle change .... i feel that i am slipping back into old habits, everyday the foods choices are getting worse ....i dont deserve any praises....... all weekend i ate nothing but junk food chips, chicko sticks, ice cream, you name it ....i did not have any protein what so ever, nada ....but this week i am working hard to get back on track hopefully its not to late...... i will dye if i gain back any weight ...and i mean that literally ....things are getting really bad you might as well consider me a walking bulimic thowing up has become part of my daily routine i am obsessed with food there i said it .......
Feb 5th 2006 This is the weekend of our DC meet and greet...i am so excited.....i got to see some familar faces and got to meet some new people as well very exciting.........i really had a ball hanging with my extended family........during the weekend i went to a tattoo party which was held by phatlexus...very nice, the tattoo artist was funny, as well as very professional.....did i say that they were looking good as well...lol .....but anyway i got my tattoo that day not any ole tattoo either, this tattoo has lots of meaning to me.....it almost like me being born again, my rights of passage........ the right to be me and to be happy with the person that i am, or that i have become, the person i have always been i was just to afraid to express myself....no baby thats not me anymore, no misses shy gurl she has been sat down.... not anymore this is me, free, entergetic, healthy, sexy, since the surgery omg this surgery have literally given back my life i have came along way from 547 pounds .....my confidence is off the chain , i now have a better body image of myself and just loving life.....
March 3,2006 today is a cool day in about 5 days i will be audtioning for MO'NIQUE for the parkers to be in her new F.A.T CHANCE COMPETION i cann't wait right know im not nervious at all but who know what will happen or what i will be like when im in that room......time to sit the lil miss shy gurl down or leaver her at home......i am so excited because i have had a lot of support for this comptetion and i have several friends coming down to support me.....hoe cool is that........i am really excited and cannt wait for the outcome....i am fully prepaired for whatever.....today i also go to the doctor to see how my progress is coming along ... i will be 20 months out on the 15th of the month .....im going to ask him today about the skin removal and the total body lift ......i'll keep you posted........UPDATE AFTER DR APPOINTMENT.....well i am :rolleyes: today because i went to see dr harrington today, and he says that he is amazed at my weightloss....i asked him about the TT ((tummy tuck))) and he says that i would be a great canadite for the TT , being though that i have nothing but saggy droopy skin left on my belly......i was so excited :woohoo .....he also said that there should be no problem with getting me approved :woohoo with the insurance company......dr harrington will be doing my surgery :woohoo ......he says that the insurance company would need at least 3 months of documentation :rulez about the skin rashes, back pain and the weightloss of more than 200 pounds........he says that would get an approval in no time....so i left the office called my PCP and was seen in the office today as well .....when i am determined to do something i am focused and nobody can stop me.......MY BODY WILL BE GETTING FIX IN 2006........ so the documention for 3 months has started as of today......i will keep you'll updated
March 9th 2006 Today i got on the scale and i am under 300 pounds i weigh 299.0 how amazing and i fell good.....yesterday was the audtion for the FAT CHANCE audition......i set it out i spoke very well in front of the camera i wasn't nervous at all like i had expected to be i was so exicited.....i did a lil footage spoke about her book and things like that for the behind the scence for the show...when i entered the room it was jammed packed so many beatiful women were their strutting there stuff so was i ...that day i felt like a model i felt so good just to be there.....to be honest i did she anyone there that was more attrative than i was that really had the whole package.......my number was #809 i will never forget it.....when we went in to the room the camera crew was there and the just asked us to tell them about yourself....which i did i just let my personality shine throught relax and to just be me.......it was amazine so we will see how things go.......while standing outside monique pulls up and gets out of the car .....i was frozen my IDOL was standing right there before my eyes i was speechless and beging to cry.....MONIQUE spoke to me and said tha you are so beautiful baby come give me a hug.........the feeling is so unbelivable i cant belive that i met my idol and she is so down to earth....i just love monique.......there are some pics of her in my gallery
March 30, 2006 nothing really major is going on right now, i wasnt choosen to walk for DeVoe Signature Events for their The 2006 Full Figured & Fabulous Runway Competitions so i will be perfecting my craft, by attending the the modeling workshop on may 20th in baltimore its a model training/ workshop and development program, exclusively for plus size women. their one of the speakers would be miss sharon quinn the runner up on FAT CHANCE with MO NIQUE i cann't wait to this date ...its gonna be alot of fresh talent their just soaking up information like sponges......lol and i have just enterned the online competition for Mo'Nique's F.A.T. Chance Users Choice Awards please visit the site and take the time to read my page and vote, thank you in advance here is the link to my page F.A.T BLACK BUTTERFLY
MAY 15, 2006 .....I AM SO UPSET TODAY BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO THE DEVOE SIGNITURES MODELING BOOTCAMP , BUT DUE TO LOW REGISTRATION DIT HAS BEEN CANCELED UNTIL FUTHER NOTICE................I AM SO BLOWN....AS FAR AS MY WEIGHTLOSS I AM DOWN TO 287...........HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MOMMIES....I SURE DID ENJOY MINES
JUNE 21, 2006 .....WELL ALOT HAS HAPPEN SINCE THE LAST TIME I POSTED, I QUIT MY JOB ON THE FIRST OF THE MONTH DUE TO SOME MEDICAL REASONS, BUT I AM ALSO LOOKING INTO STARTING MY OWN COMPANY , SO PRAY FOR ME IM LEAPING OUT ON FAITH........MY SISTER JUST HAD THE SURGERY YESTERDAY, I SPENT ALMOST ALL DAY WITH HER TODAY, SHE IS DOING JUST FINE...........WE KINDA WASNT THAT CLOSE GROWING UP I GUESS BY HER GAINING WEIGHT SHE WAS ABLE TO EXPERIENCE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD DEALING WITH THOSE WEIGHT ISSUES.....I THINK THIS IS GODS WAY OF MAKING HER CLOSER, I SURE WOULD LIKE THAT.......
JULY 7TH, 2006.....THIS IS THE DAY OF THE MO NIQUE SHOE I AM VERY EXCITED I HAV NEVER BEEN TO ANY SHOW BEFORE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. THIS MORNING KEAN WAS SICK SO HE STAYED HOME FROM DAYCARE, STEVE ENT TO GET HIS HAIR DONE THIS MORNING FOR THE SHOW, BEFORE WE WENT HOME WE STOPPED PAST THE LIQUOR STORE TO GET SOME MOET FOR THE SHOW.. I STARTED TO GET DRESSED AT 5 PM IT TAKES TIME FOR A DIVA TO GET READY PLUS I WANTED TO SPEND A LIL BIT MORE TIME ON MY MAKEUP..........I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I DID BEAT THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE ,I WANTED TO TURN STEVE ON AND THAT EXACTLY WHAT I DID...... STEVE CAME IN AT AROUND 6PM AND HIS HAIR WAS LOOKING GOOD SHIT HE WAS LOOKING GOOD.......I CANT EVER BELEIVE THAT THIS MAN EVER THOUGHT THAT HE WAS NOT ATTRACTIVE ........WE FOUND OR WAY TO THE SHOW WITH NO PROBLEM AND FOUND A GOOD PARKING SPACE WE HAD TO TO WALK A LIL BIT BUT THAT WAS OK THAT WAS JUST MY EXERCISE FOR THE DAY, STEGVE SAYS THAT I WAS WALKING LIKE I WAS IN A MARATHON SHIT I JUST HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO WALK AT 547 POUNDS I COULNT HAVE DREAMED OF GOING TO ANY SHOW BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT........PLUS THIS WAS REALLY THE FIRST TIME THAT STEVE AND I HAD A NICE EVENING OUT ALONE........WE GOT TO THE SHOW AND GARY THE OPENING ACT WAS STILL ON SO A DIVA HAVE TO GO FRESHEN UP SO I MADE MY WAY TO THE BATHROOM TO FRESHEN MYSELF UP AND STEVE MEET ME BACK OUT IN THE HALLWAY........WE THEN MADE OUR WAY INTO THE THEATHER THE SEATS THAT WE WERE SEATED IN WERE PRETTY HIGH UP I DONT LIKE HEIGHTS BUT WE BOTH GOT USED TO IT......MO NIQUE CAME OUYT AND THGE CROWD WENT WILD SHE IS SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON AND HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING SPRIT, THE SHOW WAS REALLY GOOD....I REALLY HAD A BALL THEN WHEN THE SHOW WAS OVER MONIQUE WAS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS SO BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE I HAD THE PIC I HAD TAKEN AT THE BALTIMORE PHAT CHANCE AUDITIONS WITH MONIQUE FOR HER TO SIGN AND STEVE BROUGHT ME A TSHIRT FOR HER TO SIGN A SIZE 2X AND THAT WAS STILL KINDA TO BIG SHE SIGNED THE SHIRT LIVE LIFE AND THATS EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE I PROMISE MYSELF TO LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IF WAS MY LAST....MONIQUE HUGGED ME AND THEN KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK SHE TOLD ME THAT I WAS BEAUTIFUL AND THE SAME TIME IM TELLING HER I WAS CONTESTENT 809 AT THE BALTIMORE AUDITIONS THEN I SHOWED HER THE PIC THAT MADAME HAD TAKEN FOR ME OF MO AND I SHE SMILES AND SAYS THAT ME POINTING TO HERSELF AND THEN SHE SAYS THAT YOU AND YOU LOOKING BEAUTIFUL, I SMILED I WAS SPEECHLESS, STEVE AND I POSED FOR THE PIC WITH MONIQUE WHICH WAS VERY NICE I WILL POST THE PIC .......THIS IS A NIGHT I WOULD NEVER FORGET FOR 3 REASONS THE 1ST REASON IS BECAUSE IM FINALLY LIVING THE LIFE THAT I DESERVE TO LIVE AND LIVING EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST THE 2ND IS BECAUSE I HAVE A GOOD MAN WHO REALLY CARES AND LOVES ME HE TREATED ME SO SPECIAL NOT THAT HE DOESTNET ANY OTHER DAY BUT TODAY HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE A TRUE PRINCESS HE HAS BEEN WITH ME AT MY HEAVIEST OF 547 AND HE STILL HE AT 273 POUNDS WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 11 YEARS I CANT WAIT TO BE THAT MANS WIFE...I GUESS I NEED TO START PLANNING FOR A WEDDING NEXT LOL...........AND THE 3RD THING THAT MADE THE NIGHT SO SPECIAL WAS AGAIN MEETING MONIQUE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.........HOPEFULLY ONE DAY I WOULD BE MODELING HER OR SO OTHER FULL FIGURED CLOTHING LINE OR BECOME THAT CONFIDENT MAKEUP ARTIST THAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.........I JUST WANT TO BLESS SOMEBODY PASS IT ON THE WAY I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TROUGHOUT MY LIFE...
JULY 24, 2006.....TUESDAY IS MY SON AKEANS BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKEAN TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY I HOLDING MY WEIGHT AT 270 RIGHT NOW MY PERSONAL GOAL IS 250 SO THATS 20 POUNDS AWAY....TODAY I RAN ACROSS A LINK THAT SOMEBODY SENT ME TO ABOUT A FULL FIGURED FASHION SHOW THAT WAS ABOUT 12 OR 1 PM TODAY THE MODEL CALL WAS AT 2:15 PM MY FIANCE TOLD ME TO PUSH AHEAD AN GO BECAUSE I WASNT FEELING GOOD TODAY, SO I WENT I BEAT MY FACE GOT UP AND WENT,I WAS CHOOSEN TO BE IN THE SHOW....I AM SO EXCITED HERE IS THE LINK http://www.fullfigureddiva.com/events.html, EMAIL ME IF INTERESTED IN ATTENDING WE HAVE TO SELL AT LEAST 7 TICKETS TO BE IN THE SHOW......I WOUL LIKE TO THANK THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELPED AND BELIVED IN ME....MY MOTHER WHO BROUGHT ME HERE AND RAISING ME WITH AN IRON FIST....LOL MY GRANDMOTHER FOR INTRODUCING ME TO MAKE-UP AND MODELING, I REMEMBER THE FIRST FASHION SHOW SHE TOOK ME TOO, I ALSO REMEMEBER HER PUTTING ON HER MAKEUP FOR SUNDAY SERVICE, SHE IS JUST SUCH A DIVA...LOL.....TONI WASHINGTONS FINEST MAKEUP ARTIST AND MY FRIEND SHE HAS BEEN MY INSPIRATION ALWAYS HAVING KINDS WORDS OF WISDOM AND HER BELIEVING IN ME WHEN SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE DIDNT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.....OMG MY FIANCE STEVE HAS BEEN MY ROCK HE WAS THERE FOR ME AT 547 POUNDS AND STILL HERE 11 YEARS LATER WHEN PEOPLE THOUGHT WE WOULD MAKE IT WERE STILL HERE AND THE RELATIONSHIP HAS GOTTEN NOTHING BUT STRONGER...I LOVE YOU BABY, HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE OF ME, TO MO'NIQUE YOU ARE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, WHO SAID NEVER GIVE UP AND TO LIVE LIFE...WELL BABY IM DOING JUST THAT, I NEVER BELEIVED THAT I WOULD BE LIVING OUT MY DREAM TO DO A REAL FULL FIGURED FASHION SHOW...OMG AND TO TOCCARA OMG I LOVE HER, SHE LET IT BE KNOWN THAT BIG GIRLS CAN BE SEXY TO.....
JULY 28, 2006.....YESTERDAY WAS LOVELY STEVE AND I TOOK AKEAN TO SIX FLAGS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, THAT LIL BOY IS BRAVE HE TOOK ME ON RIDES THAT HAD ME IN TEARS...LOL I WAS SCARED SHITLESS BUT IM ENJOYED MYSELF JUST BEING ABLE TO RIDE THE RIDES MADE ME FEEL GOOD, I DIDNT HAVE TO GET OFF ANY OF THE RIDES LIKE BACK IN THE DAY BECAUSE I WAS TO BIG TO RIDE......I WAS ABLE TO WALK THE ENTIRE PARK AND NOT FEEL TIRED NOR SLUGGISH.....I GOT PLENTY OF EXERCISE THAT DAY......I PRETTY MUCH EAT WHATEVER I WANTED BUT IN MODERATE NIBBLE A LIL HEAR AND THERE BEING THOUGH I WILL BE 2 YRS POST OPT ON THE 12TH OF NEXT MONTH...MY SISTER HAD THE SURGERY AND SH HAS ALREADY LOST 25 POUNDS I AMD PROUD OF HER.......I HAVE BEEN PRATICING FOR THE UPCOMING FASHION SHOW PRODUCED BY FULL FIGURED DIVA ACADEMY.....I THINK I HAVE EMPROVED GREATLY SO LOOK OUT GWENDLYN DEVOE (((RIP THE RUNWAY PLUS SIZE))) AND LOOK OUT MONIQUE AND SHARON QUINN FOR MONIQUE FAT CHANCE I WILL BE AUDIONING NEXT YEAR..........HERE COMES(((( BLACK BUTTERFLY))I LISTENED TO SHARON QUINN ON THE RADIO THE OTHER DAY AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT I ADMIRE HER AND HER HARD WORK, SHE JUST GIVES ME THAT HOPE LIKE YEA THAT CAN BE YOU AS WELL JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS SHE ALSO SAYS IN THIS INDUSTRY YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR STUFF GAME TIGHT SO ALWAYS COME PREPAIRED FOR ANYTHING AND ALWAYS BE ON TIME.....MOST IMPORTANT BE HONEST, TO YOURSELF, SHOW CONFIDENCE, AND LET YOUR PERSONALITY SHINE......
AUG 12, 2006.....the scale has actullay been a lil nice to me, today is my 2 year anniversary since the surgery on Aug 12, 2004, i had my check up yesterday and dr. harrington says that everything looks good, and that he is so proud of me for losing as much as i did....they took my pictures for the surgery of my arms and belly i will have to pay for that arms, but the recovery for both should be covered by the insurance....(((((lets keep our fingers cross)))))) i should here something in about a month alfreda says, but to date i have lost a total of 281 pounds....OMG that is a lot of weight but i am so thankful about where i am happy, compared to 2 years ago..,.......PRIASE GOD....my first runway is tommorrow i am so exicted but scared at the same time im gonna work that runway this is BB Black Butterfly spreading her wings, just hope i dont fall, lol but any who alfreda the nurse say that i hav about 15-20 pounds of skin on each thigh as well as about 10 pounds on my belly and about 2-3 pounds on my arms thats almost 40-50 pounds of skin, i dont want to be bone skinny i just want to be confident and to look good in my clothes, i told alfreda to send the pictures in to see if i can get aprroved for the skin removal but if they dont approve then i will not persue it because honestly i didnt think i woould ever get to this point..........will update more tommorow after the show........
AUGUST 15, 2006.....THE SHOW WENT REALLY WELL WE HAD TO ARRIVE THERE AT 3 PM FOR THE FINAL FITTING AND TO DO A TRIAL RUN BACKSTAGE IS SO CRAZY THE DAY OF THE SHOW, YOU GOT HAIR MAKEUP, PRACTICE, WIGS ETC....ITS SO MUCH TO GO THROUGH BEFORE THE SHOW EVENS STARTS, I WAS SO NERVOUS THE FIRST TIME I HAD TO GO ON I FELT LIKE I GO ON AND GOT OFF A LITTLE TO SOON, THEN I IHAD TO RUN DOWN THE HALL TAKING MY SHOES OFF TO GET READY FOR THE NEXT SCENE, NEEDLESS THERE WAS NOBODY BACK THERE REALLY HELPING THE MODEWLS CHANGE BECUASE EVERYBODY WAS IN THE NEXT SCENCE SO WHILE IM BACK STAGE CLOTHES, SHOES, WIGS YOU NAME IT IT FLYING ITS A MAD HOUSE TRYING TO CHANGE FOR THE NEXT SCENSE IN SUCH A SHORT TIME FRAME, SOME HOW ME BEING BACK STAGE HELPING OTHER PEOPLE I MISSED MY TURN TO WALK, THEN THE NEXT TIME I WASN'T AS NERVOUS I WENT OUT , I THINK OVERALL I DID A GOOD JOB EVERYONE THAT CAME TO SEE ME SAYS THAT I DID AN EXCELENT JOB , IM GONNA PURCHASE THE VIDEO SO THAT I CAN CRITIQUE MYSELF TO SEE WHAT NEEDS TO BE WORKED ON, BUT I HAD MY 2 YEAR CHECK UP ON LAST FRIDAY TOTAL I HAVE LOST 285 POUNDS IN 2 YEARS AUG 12, 2004 WAS MY DATED, I NEVER WOULD HAVE DREAMED IN A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD BE HERE IN THIS POINT IN MY LIFE..........WE TOOK PICTRUES OF MY TUMMY THIGHES AND ARMS THE DOCTOR WANTS ME STILL TO GET DOWN TO 200 POUNDS HE SAYS THAT ITS ABOUT 15-20 POUNDS ON MY THIGHES EACH AND ABOUT 2-3 POUNDS ON MY ARMS AND ABOUT 10 POUNDS ON MY BELLY, BUT WERE ON TRYING TO GET APPROVED FOR MY BELLY LETS SEE WHAT THE INSURANCE COMPANY SAYS...........
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