LauraH.

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Well I just got back from a fluroscopy with my doctor, and I got good news! I was really worried because I had been getting a scratchy throat, and hoarseness recently. Wasn't sure if it was reflux, or allergies/post nasal drip. I have had reflux in the past, and this felt different, but none the less I wanted to get it checked out, as I have had problems in the past with reflux, being too tight, stretched pouch- requiring a total unfill ( and weight gain ). So I made an appt for a fluro. Everything looked great he said. The band was in great position, and actually a little on the loose side. Phew!!! I was actually able to get a small fill of 0.3cc, putting me at 3.5cc in a 10cc band. I have been at a plateau for a couple of months hovering between 181 and 183. Maybe this will help break the plateau, and move things along. Especially if I step up the exercising, like I need to!! I have been grazing a bit also, as I get hungry about 2 hours after eating, so maybe this little tweak will help with that too. I am so grateful and glad that there was nothing wrong with my band, especially after the issues I had over the winter with it. I would much rather go slow, and be conservative with my fills, rather than getting too tight again, needing an unfill, and gaining more weight! Or worse- lose my band. My head is in a much better place now as well, and am so ready to continue on my journey, as I got so side tracked due to personal issues. I am getting a good handle on all of that stuff too, so I know I will get back down to where I was last fall. My goal is to be at goal by my 3 year anniversary. Should be doable, as I am looking at only 40-45lbs til I get there. Thats about a pound a week, and realistic I think. Well gonna go do some exercise......
So, so happy!!!

Well it has been a LONG time since I have written anything in my blog. I can't believe it has been a year and a half since my last entry!!! Life sure can get in the way sometimes.  Last week (6/23/10) was my 2 year bandiversary. I was hoping to be at goal by then but alas.....I am not. 2009 was not a very good year. Well actually the first half wasn't too bad, I did manage to get down to around 163 lbs ( albiet for a day, but I was there!), but hovered between 165-168 most of the time. By the summer though things had gotten pretty bad in my life. I lost some income, which caused a great deal of financial strain, my youngest son was leaving for college in the fall, and my stepmom, who had been battling ovarian cancer for the past 10 years, began to decline. I was back and forth to the hospital quite frequently. I started to do alot of emotional eating, and my exercising slowed down. Although some how my weight stayed fairly stable, getting as high as 172, but as low as 166, through out the summer and fall. But then my stepmom passed away in october. This was very sad for me, as we had become much closer in the last few months of her life. Also she died of the same disease my mom did (when I was 13) so it brought back alot of those memories as well. Needless to say, I didn't cope with my grief very well, and began to eat alot of crap again. Also was eating beyond full. The band rules went out the window. The holidays came, and of course they were tough also. I was able to eat more than I had been, and so thought I needed a fill, so sometime after the 1st of the year ( don't remember exactly when) I went in for a fill, as I had gone back up over 180 lbs. Julie, the APRN didn't want to fill me as she was worried that my pouch may have stretched, as I was also having reflux, so she sent me for Fluroscopy. Sure enough, my pouch had stretched, and so I needed a complete unfill. (I had 4.1cc in my band before being unfilled) I was so bummed out, but I was determined not to gain any more wt. Having said that, I proceeded to eat everything and anything that I hadn't been able to eat since being banded (cheeseburgers, fries, pizza-- you get the drift). By Easter of this year I was back up to 194 lbs. I was thoroughly disgusted, and depressed. Luckily, around this time I was scheduled for another Fluro. My pouch had regained it's tone, so I was able to get a small fill, and have had another small one after that, so I have around 3 cc in my 10cc band now.  My Dr. says I am very sensitive to fills, and was probably too tight at 4.1 cc. ( i had done the fill/unfill dance a few times prior to getting to 4.1), so from now on I have to have all my fills under fluro. I have begun losing again, and am down to 183.6 as of this am's wt. I have also begun exercising again over the past 3 weeks. I am starting to feel really good again. I went back on my antidepressant about 2 months ago, and I think it has finally kicked in. I have also started seeing a therapist on a weekly basis now, and that is really helpful. I feel like I am getting back on track, and control of my life again. Coming back to OH has helped soooo much also. Although I''ve never really been a big poster ( it's a shy thing) I lurk frequently, and always find helpful information. I am very hopeful, and positve right now. I am treating myself like a brand new bandster, and starting over. It feels really good to be back on the BANDWAGON! I know I will reach my goal, and even though I had some regain, it could have been alot worse. I could have gained everything back!!  I am only dealing with 20lbs(now) over my all time low, not 72 lbs. I need to give my self credit for the 50 lbs I've maintained. So here I go... batlling that 20lbs, and it WILL come off!!! I just know itWish me luck!!! Bye for now....

 Well, today is December 31, the last day of 2008. I am just over 6 months post op. I haven't posted in a while, and thought I'd update my profile for the end of the year. 

The past 6 months have been an incredible journey, although it has not been without struggles. I have done well with my band, and am down 61-64 lbs ( depending on the day! ). 17 of those lost pounds were pre-op. The first 4 1/2- 5 months I lost pretty quickly, and steadily. I did exercise regularly as well.  I was able to stop my meds, and now basically just take the vitamins I need to. 

When the time came to switch over my clothes for the fall / winter season, rather than pack my summer clothes away, I had to get rid of ALL of my summer clothes, as they no longer fit, and would not fit next summer. My reaction to this surprised me. Although I was excited and happy about this, it also created some anxiety for me. I felt like I was closing one door behind me, but hadn't gotten to the next door yet. I had gotten rid of my "old " identity, but was not quite sure what my new identity would be when summer comes. It's weird. I got rid of a lot of my fall, and winter clothes too, but I was able to buy new ones, so I didn't really have a problem with getting rid of those clothes. Although, there was this one winter dress that I had. I never had worn it, and saved it for years hoping to wear it some day. Well, I had to get rid of it, because by the time it got cold enough to wear it, I had lost so much weight that it was too big! Funny, I felt kind of sad about that.

I have had 3 fills to date, and now have some restriction.( I can still eat bread though) It took me a while to get used to the 3rd fill ( in November), and so did finally have some stuck episodes, and episodes of pb'ing, mostly from eating too fast. I have to be careful to take small bites, and eat slowly. I currently have 3.8cc in my 10cc band, so I know I can get better restriction

The holidays have been an awful struggle for me, and have to say I have been at at standstill with my weight loss. I have lost and gained the same 3-4 lbs for the past month or so. This is through my own fault, and no fault of the band. I have lived on junk food, and sugar for the past month. I discovered that I am truly a stress eater, and these are the things that go down quick, and are comforting. It is much easier to grab 3 or 4 pieces of chocolate, and shove them in your mouth( one at a time of course), and eat them, than it is to chew a pea sized bite of chicken 20-30 times, and wait in between bites. And chocolate is much more of a "feel good" food than fish. And so that is basically how I have been eating probably at least 1/2 the time throughout the holidays. It is so true what people say-- the band doesn't fix your head!! There is such an emotional component to my eating, I am discovering. I am very distressed, and depressed over my eating habits lately. At times I feel hopeless that I will not get control back. This will definately be a topic of discussion at my next therapist meeting. I suppose I can look at all this in a positive light, in that I am becoming aware of my emotional/ stress eating, and so therefore can work on it. Thank God for therapists!!

I am looking forward to the next week to get back on track. With the holidays over after tonight, I am hoping to refocus, and get back to my routine of exercise, and healthy eating. I am about 2/3 of the way to my goal, with only about 30-35 more lbs to lose. I am only 6 months out, and I need to remind myself that this is a life long journey. In the "band" world, I am still a baby, or maybe a teenager at best! I need to be kind, and loving to myself, and not beat myself up over my slips. It is counter productive. I will get there, with hard work, and effort, and yes, it will be worth it.

Happy New Year to all!!

Well yesturday was my 2 month bandiversary. Things are going well. I am down a total of 50 lbs!!! 17 pre-op, and 33 post op! I had my 1st fill, and all went well with that, although I have to make sure I don't over eat. I did that once, and although I did not slime or PB I got reflux for about 3 days. It was awful! Thank God it's gone now!! Mentally, I am still trying to adjust to the "balance" of a meal. I am so used to eating a meat, starch, and veggie at a meal, and I can't really do that now. I can usually get the protien, and veggie in, but rarely the starch. Every now and then I can get a couple of crackers in, or a tablespoon or 2 of brown rice, or pasta, but I can't go beyond that. I don't get stuck, or anything, I just get too full if I go beyond that, and I feel like I'll puke if I go farther, so I stop.  Usually just the bite or 2 of starch, and the appearance of it on my plate satisfies my mental hunger, though, so it's not too bad. I haven't really had any difficulties with anything getting stuck at this point, and haven't pb'd yet. Although I'm sure as I get restriction that day will come!!

I have joined a gym, and am exercizing about 4-5 days a week.  I have noticed some sagging skin though, in my arms, abdomen, and inner thighs. Hopefully the weight training at the gym will help with some of this. Maybe I'll buy some spanx for now, and start saving my money for PS!!  In any event, I feel really great! I have tons more energy, and am much more flexible! I feel like I also lost 15 years!!
 The other day I was coming down the stairs, and my 19 year old son said to me-- "Ma, was that you coming down the stairs? Man, you are hustlin! You got a serious spring in your step!" And I saw my parents the other day, and they told me how great I looked, and that I "look so happy!!! No more frown on your face!" It's so nice to here!

I no longer need my blood pressure meds, and next week I go get my HgA1C done for my diabetes. Can't wait until I see the results.

Well that's all for now. Life is good, and I love my band!!

Well, today I am 6 weeks post op. I have been on mushies the past 2 weeks, and it's been wonderful, since I was on liquids for 4 weeks! I haven't really had any problems or issues, and my hunger is definately controlled better since being able to eat. My doctor requires that the mushy stage is basically all protien, though, and so I am getting a little bored. For some reason the dietician wants me to stay on mushies 1 more week, for a total of 3 weeks. I think it's because my first fill isn't until 8/20. She said that was kind of a long time after surgery. ( 8 weeks after surgery )Oh well. 1 more week, and then I can advance to the regular diet which will include all the food groups. Yay!

My band experience so far has been really good, better than I expected! To date I have lost 45 lbs. 17 pre-op, and 28 post op! I feel really good, and have much more energy. My bath towel actually went ALL the way around me!! Covered my entire bod-- AMAZING STUFF HERE!!!

I went on a short vacation to The Cape last week, and was able to manage restaurant eating. ( basically tuna salad, or cheese omlets but that's ok! ) I just joined a gym as well ( NEVER thought I'd do that! ) Can't wait to get into a kayak! Maybe by fall? We'll see.......

Bye!

Well, on Monday - 7/14, I will be 3 weeks post op. I am feeling really good, although, sometimes I still get tired at the end of the day, especially with the heat. My surgery went well, with no real issues. I did have more pain than I anticipated, the first day or so, but I think it was because I didn't keep up with my pain meds. After regular dosing, my pain was pretty well controlled. By the 4th day post op I actually switched to liquid tylenol, and by the end of the week I was pretty much pain free. Just a little discomfort once in awhile. I went back to work 1 week after my surgery, and that wasn't too bad either.

I do have to say that the morning after surgery I was VERY hungry, and I did not anticipate that either. I figured I'd be hungry a little later out, but not the day after!! (I wasn't hungry for 2 weeks after my hysterectomy)

The clear liquids stage was tough, because I was hungry much of the time. Thank God for herb ox boullion packets! I found the hot broth satisfied me a bit.

I am now on the full liquid stage, and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I still get hungry, but at least the shakes, yogurts, and soups hold me for a few hours. Next week I think I get to go to " mushies" Woohoo!

My mood has been good, and I have not really had too hard of a time with head hunger at this point, which is a surprise to me. But I expect that sometime when I least expect it... BAM, it's gonna nail me! Will cross that bridge when I come to it I guess.

The weight is actually coming off quicker than I thought as well. This a.m. I weighed 198.2lbs on my scale-- Just shy of 20lbs lost post -op!!!  ( and ONEDERLAND!  ). I saw my Dr. this week, for my post-op check, and he said the wt loss will probably stop until I get my first fill( which is Aug 20th, BTW). I hope not. I'm sure it will slow down quite a bit though. That's ok, I don't want to have to go buy new clothes until the fall any way!!!

All in all, so far so good! That's all for now I guess...

Well, I am home, and banded. I was banded on Monday, 6/23. I am feeling pretty good. I have this feeling of disbelief that I actually have a band! I am so happy, I want to pinch myself! WooHoo!! am totally psyched that I got it done,and am looking forward to my journey