4_ever_me
observations
Jul 05, 2009
A close friend of mine who just had WLS on may 26th came to visit me for 2 weeks....I was very surprised by the visit as I wasn't made aware that she was coming and also because I have recently had a huge loss when my best friend passed away unexpectedly...so i wasn't really wanting company....but when someone shows up on your doorstep from 700 miles away its kinda hard to turn them away ya know?
So she was here and only one month out from surgery...I discovered she had not gotten her Dr's okay for travel much less traveling 700 miles...she brought all of her WLS stuff with her, 3 ring binder with lots of instructions, a lot of huge bottles of meds and vitamins, and a elastic tummy binder that was supposed to help prevent hernia's, and a rather large container of protein shake stuff in chocolate flavor. The first afternoon she was there we sat down and discussed her surgery experience and how she was doing since ...I got the impression from her that she wasn't too up on what she needed to be doing to be an active participant in her weight loss...she could not tell me one thing that she could eat except the protein shake and from all of my experience in this journey(this IS my third go at it) I knew she should have a list of acceptable foods and drinks. So I sat with her and went through her 3 ring binder and looked at everything up to where she was at (4 weeks out) and talked about the foods that I had that she could eat and what she would need to pick up for herself....I wasn't worried about her being able to eat what was appropriate because I figured she had a handle on her needs...I should tell you here and now I am a caretaker person and I have been trying my best to not be that way anymore...so seeing that my friend wasn't "up to snuff" so to speak I wanted to just jump in and take over...but I did really good and stayed out of it....until....she got a hernia.
My daughter and her 19 month old son live with me....and he is quite active and rambunctious...and he is very much a people person already and has no fear of newcomers...needless to say my friend didn't pay attention to my warnings of not picking him up and carrying him everywhere and she got a hernia....I know it is not my fault and I shouldn't feel responsible because she didn't listen and she didn't pay attention to her body...but I do feel like I could have been more adamant about it.
So we made a middle of the night visit to the ER because she was in pain and I was certain it was a hernia...and the ER doctor told her she just bruised her ribs. he did a chest xray and saw nothing in it to cause him concern...so sent us home....now this happened 7 days exactly after she came to visit... I was not convinced with the doctors findings i felt that he didn't pay attention to what i told him and I know she was in too much pain to be her own advocate...and when we left I said to the nurse "I bet we will be back"....she did get pain meds and the advice to rest and stop picking up the boy....so this was Friday...and even with a reduction in activity and playtime with the boy she WAS back in there on Monday...only this time it was so much worse and she needed to be hospitalized overnight....she would see my bariatric doctor the next day she was told. Through the night she had a few problems and when I went in there in the morning I was told the doctor on call had already been in and discharged her...I was shocked to say the least. I assumed he was going to tell her she needed surgery....but I guess she was adamant about going home to her own doctor 700 miles away!!!! So she was released and for the next 4 days I had to practically yell at her to not pick up my grandson, to not carry anything over 5 lbs, to not let the boy jump on her, and to pay attention to what she needed to be doing for herself....I felt as if I was taking care of a 5 yr old at times.....finally at my wits end I asked her if her son was flying up to drive her back home again...because I didn't think she could handle the 12 hour drive by herself....and she asked me if I wanted her to leave.....WOW talk about putting me on the spot.....I didn't WANT her to leave upset and hurt...but I did feel she needed to get home and deal with the hernia it wasn't getting better here....so I tried to say yes without being hurtful....even though she got upset and left that way....I didn't know how to get her to take care of herself BY herself....I am the only one who is responsible for my health and how I am dealing with it so I am not used to being around someone who depends on others that way....I have a disabled and dependent daughter and grandson who dint require as much energy as I was expending taking care of her for 2 weeks...
So I am going to take all that I observed with her and use that for my aftercare....I will not make someone else be in control of my body and its needs.....I can look into the foods and exercise needs and be aware of what is and is not allowed all through my recovery from surgery and the journey I have ahead of me...I will not be dependent on someone else looking it up and reading about it ..I AM the responsible one for ME. I will not go to a fast food place, swallow food without chewing a longggggg time, I will not consume foods that are not on my allow list yet (and then complain I hurt from eating them....because I know they are not allowed yet) I will follow my doctors orders for exercise and keep myself away from hernia damage.....as time goes by before my surgery my grandson grows and I am beginning to help him be aware of my tummy so he wont jump on it and hurt me...I will also pay attention to the no drinking while eating rule because I see now how she didn't follow that rule and how she filled her tummy with liquids that were full of sugar and not helping her....I also learned how to make the protein shake so it didn't taste grainy and chalky....so that will help a lot I believe.
so a lot of observations and opportunity for growth here.
0 comments
So she was here and only one month out from surgery...I discovered she had not gotten her Dr's okay for travel much less traveling 700 miles...she brought all of her WLS stuff with her, 3 ring binder with lots of instructions, a lot of huge bottles of meds and vitamins, and a elastic tummy binder that was supposed to help prevent hernia's, and a rather large container of protein shake stuff in chocolate flavor. The first afternoon she was there we sat down and discussed her surgery experience and how she was doing since ...I got the impression from her that she wasn't too up on what she needed to be doing to be an active participant in her weight loss...she could not tell me one thing that she could eat except the protein shake and from all of my experience in this journey(this IS my third go at it) I knew she should have a list of acceptable foods and drinks. So I sat with her and went through her 3 ring binder and looked at everything up to where she was at (4 weeks out) and talked about the foods that I had that she could eat and what she would need to pick up for herself....I wasn't worried about her being able to eat what was appropriate because I figured she had a handle on her needs...I should tell you here and now I am a caretaker person and I have been trying my best to not be that way anymore...so seeing that my friend wasn't "up to snuff" so to speak I wanted to just jump in and take over...but I did really good and stayed out of it....until....she got a hernia.
My daughter and her 19 month old son live with me....and he is quite active and rambunctious...and he is very much a people person already and has no fear of newcomers...needless to say my friend didn't pay attention to my warnings of not picking him up and carrying him everywhere and she got a hernia....I know it is not my fault and I shouldn't feel responsible because she didn't listen and she didn't pay attention to her body...but I do feel like I could have been more adamant about it.
So we made a middle of the night visit to the ER because she was in pain and I was certain it was a hernia...and the ER doctor told her she just bruised her ribs. he did a chest xray and saw nothing in it to cause him concern...so sent us home....now this happened 7 days exactly after she came to visit... I was not convinced with the doctors findings i felt that he didn't pay attention to what i told him and I know she was in too much pain to be her own advocate...and when we left I said to the nurse "I bet we will be back"....she did get pain meds and the advice to rest and stop picking up the boy....so this was Friday...and even with a reduction in activity and playtime with the boy she WAS back in there on Monday...only this time it was so much worse and she needed to be hospitalized overnight....she would see my bariatric doctor the next day she was told. Through the night she had a few problems and when I went in there in the morning I was told the doctor on call had already been in and discharged her...I was shocked to say the least. I assumed he was going to tell her she needed surgery....but I guess she was adamant about going home to her own doctor 700 miles away!!!! So she was released and for the next 4 days I had to practically yell at her to not pick up my grandson, to not carry anything over 5 lbs, to not let the boy jump on her, and to pay attention to what she needed to be doing for herself....I felt as if I was taking care of a 5 yr old at times.....finally at my wits end I asked her if her son was flying up to drive her back home again...because I didn't think she could handle the 12 hour drive by herself....and she asked me if I wanted her to leave.....WOW talk about putting me on the spot.....I didn't WANT her to leave upset and hurt...but I did feel she needed to get home and deal with the hernia it wasn't getting better here....so I tried to say yes without being hurtful....even though she got upset and left that way....I didn't know how to get her to take care of herself BY herself....I am the only one who is responsible for my health and how I am dealing with it so I am not used to being around someone who depends on others that way....I have a disabled and dependent daughter and grandson who dint require as much energy as I was expending taking care of her for 2 weeks...
So I am going to take all that I observed with her and use that for my aftercare....I will not make someone else be in control of my body and its needs.....I can look into the foods and exercise needs and be aware of what is and is not allowed all through my recovery from surgery and the journey I have ahead of me...I will not be dependent on someone else looking it up and reading about it ..I AM the responsible one for ME. I will not go to a fast food place, swallow food without chewing a longggggg time, I will not consume foods that are not on my allow list yet (and then complain I hurt from eating them....because I know they are not allowed yet) I will follow my doctors orders for exercise and keep myself away from hernia damage.....as time goes by before my surgery my grandson grows and I am beginning to help him be aware of my tummy so he wont jump on it and hurt me...I will also pay attention to the no drinking while eating rule because I see now how she didn't follow that rule and how she filled her tummy with liquids that were full of sugar and not helping her....I also learned how to make the protein shake so it didn't taste grainy and chalky....so that will help a lot I believe.
so a lot of observations and opportunity for growth here.
Had my first appt with my surgeon yesterday
Jun 04, 2009
I am glad i had my appointment after a full nights sleep instead of going in the late afternoon when I am more cranky.
I got the names of the psychiatrists and sat in my car and called them before I left the parking lot and I have an appointment for next week with one of them! The first one I called the wait was 7 weeks...I was not encouraged by that but the next call they said I could be in on Monday next week...WOOT~~!!~~
I am a bit frustrated with my daughter today as she is over-reacting to her son(19 months) and she is screeching all the time...(we live together) I know it is hard being a single mom and she needs a break but she doesnt listen to me when I tell her that screeching at the boy doesnt make him listen...he is a baby ya know? I offered to her today to take a nap while I watched him and she said no that she wanted to watch tv...so its not as if I am not trying to lend a hand.
0 comments
I got the names of the psychiatrists and sat in my car and called them before I left the parking lot and I have an appointment for next week with one of them! The first one I called the wait was 7 weeks...I was not encouraged by that but the next call they said I could be in on Monday next week...WOOT~~!!~~
I am a bit frustrated with my daughter today as she is over-reacting to her son(19 months) and she is screeching all the time...(we live together) I know it is hard being a single mom and she needs a break but she doesnt listen to me when I tell her that screeching at the boy doesnt make him listen...he is a baby ya know? I offered to her today to take a nap while I watched him and she said no that she wanted to watch tv...so its not as if I am not trying to lend a hand.
