kathy in horseheads
Would I have the surgery again?
May 20, 2009
Today is May 20, 2009. I had my RNY surgery on Jan 24, 2006. My highest weight was 234 at time of surgery and I got down to 140 (actually 139, but that was only for about an hour). I am now back to 186. Would I have this surgery again? I'm not sure. Although I still feel better physically I'm starting to get my comorbidites back. My sleep apnea is back, my high pressure is back, my back & legs are bothering me again. I guess I just am not meant to be thin.
I never really learned to change my eating habits for the better. However, I did change the way that I eat. I lost all of my weight (about 100 lbs) in the first 10 months. Nothing more would come off & I got frustrated. I started to eat more often..grazing! I was never one to eat huge amounts of food, I just grazed. However, I no longer graze on junk food. I graze on sugar free fudgies. I have been eating at least 10-12 a day. The sugar alcohol doesn't make me dump in a classical way, but gives me gas like you wouldn't believe. Some of my farts can last up to 45 seconds..it's embarrasing. Does it stop me from eating them? No...I just can't help myself.
I've been doing some self analysis to why I regained and I have a thought. When I was at 140 I went way overboard on buying clothing. It was my new obsession. I was shopping every day & buying so many clothes that I would never be able to wear them all. I would feel guilty about buying them, but I was too embarrassed to return them, so I would take them to a consignment shop. They would sell them for less than 1/2 of what I paid for them. I felt that there were just too many choices in a size 6. Now that I'm bordering between a 14 & 16--right between plus sizes there aren't as many choices & I don't feel comfortable enough in my clothes to buy more. I know that sounds absolutely crazy, but I really believe that's most of my problem
3 year surgery check up
Mar 01, 2009
I've been to a psychiatrist to get off the paxil as that makes me gain weight. But, after being on it for 14 years it is impossible for me to stop it. She said the only alternative would be to be admitted as an inpatient & they would detox me from it. Well,,,,,I work in a psychatric hospital & that is NOT an option for me. (It is the only psych hospital in the area). Soo that was a disappointment for me.
I'm not sure if I regret having this surgery or not. At least before I could blame all of my shortcomings on my weight,,,but after going to such drastic measures I have nothing to blame but myself & my lack of self control
Fat Kathy is definetly Back
Oct 25, 2008
I have just about given up on my weight since the tt. It is just such a disappointment. I can't stop the grazing. I have been eating an entire box of Wegman's brand sugar free fudgies every day--I can't stop buying them or eating them. If I don't have them I get shaky and get horrible headaches. The other big trigger is Wise brand cheese doodles. In fact I have been eating them while I'm typing this.
My therapist says that I'm slowly trying to hurt myself, but don't want to make it obvious to others. She's right--I just don't know how to stop hurting myself...whether it's biting my nails until they bleed (pretty sad when you're 54 years old and you still bite your nails) or by eating garbage. Well, I solved the nail biting issue by getting acrylic nails....if only there was a way to buy acrylic food...lol
IS "FAT KATHY" BACK ??????
Mar 01, 2008
Today is March 1. I can't believe it!!! Although I hate being home, the time is actually going by fast. I still haven't gotten a new job yet. I have a canvass letter for the psych center that has to be back by March 12, so maybe I will get an interview after that. If not, I'm going to wait until after my birthday (April 7) so that I can go & visit with Jenn (my daughter) in Charlotte. She has her spring break that week. I have never seen the apartment that she is living in. It should be a nice time.
Well, I'm afraid that "fat Kathy" is back. I looked in the mirror yesterday & that was my first thought. I keep trying to fool myself by saying that it's just swelling from my tummy tuck, but hey, you don't gain 15 lbs from a tummy tuck. I was 150lbs the day of my tummy tuck & today I'm around 154-156. My lowest weight was 140, but I just can't seem to get back down there. I have been back at the gym for the last month, but I still can't get back down. I have been exercising sooo hard. I had the personal trainer give me a new workout routine, but I'm only cleared to do cardio--no weights.
I have been eating all kinds of junk lately. Yesterday I had one entire donut (a fried cake no less) and 3 bites of an apple fritter. Then later I ate an entire hershey bar---not just an individual serving, but the big one--I think it's 1/2 pound. I don't know why I did it. I've got to get my eating back on track.
I know I can do this...I just need to get a job & get a routine again. I won't be a failure!!!!!!!
Back on track for now!!!
Feb 15, 2008
I had the pleasure of meeting another OH member at the gym. (Arnot Ogden Hospital Wellness Center). Her name is Anita Jo & we had a nice conversation. She is trying to get a mons lift, but needs to find a surgeon with lower rates than our local one. She has had a panniculectomy by a wls dr., but they didn't do the mons lift with it. Good luck Anita, keep searching, I know you'll find someone that will help. BTW, she looks fantastic. You would never know that she was a formerly obese person.
After waiting for NYSEG for over 2 months, I called again (for the second time) and was told that they filled the job with another NYSEG employee. They never called me back to tell me. I was sooo disappointed. I sent in a canvas letter for New York State to be a keyboard specialist (typist) for the Elmria Psychiatric center. The responses have to be in by Feb 19, so I'm hoping to be called for an interview shortly after that. The pay & benefits are great, but I'll have to wait for at least 2 years to get enough vacation time to have my next round of plastics. I think it will be my arms & breasts.
HAPPY SURGIVERSARY TO ME--2 YEARS!!!
Jan 25, 2008
Today is my 2 year wls surgiversary. I didn't even know it until I got my email from Eric (the site founder) wishing me Happy Anniversary. Wow, it sure has gone fast. I had my first round of plastics last month (extended tt with anchor incision)--Dec 5. It looked great when I first had it done, but it's puffy again. I am embarrassed to say that I have gained since then. I am up from my lowest weight (140) by 14 lbs. I need to get going again. I thought that once I had my tummy tuck done I would lose a little again. Well, I did, at first--I was back down to 146, but I've been eating like a pig since then. I'm up to 154 today--I can't believe it. I've been eating non-stop. I haven't been working since before my surgery. Actually my last day was the second week of November--I hate being home. I am still waiting to hear back from NYSEG, but nothing yet. I called them back a couple of weeks ago, but they were still waiting for approval from their headquarters. I'm already interviewed & tested,,,but waiting is killing me.
I had a "memory lapse" again today. I haven't had that problem in several years. It's very scary for me. They have never found the reason for it...the closest they could find was maybe a slight vitamin deficiency,,,but nothing shows up. I couldn't remember what year it was, when my wedding anniversary was, what my doctor's name was etc...it was scary. I got really angry at hubby because when I asked him what year it was he yelled at me & said that he already told me twice. That just about killed me. I couldn't even talk to him after that.
This happened to me once before (way before surgery) and nothing ever showed up. I just hope it's better tomorrow. It's soooo scary.
Well, it's been an amazing 2 years and hopefully I will get back on track & continue with my good health.
Round 1 of plastics done!
Dec 15, 2007
I am now 10 days post op from my extended tt. It hasn't been bad at all. I went into Dr. Heil's office at 7am on Dec 5 and was home by 3pm. She did a really good job. She had already explained before surgery that I wouldn't have a flat upper abdomen due to my bone structure, but it's better than I thought it was going to be. I've always had a huge budda belly, but now it's relatively flat. My lower abdomen is completely flat. That's something that I've never experienced. Both of my sisters are overweight, but have always had flat stomachs...it was just me with the budda belly. I've had it since I was a child.
I still can't shower until my last drain comes out. She removed one of them on Friday, but the other isn't scheduled to come out until Tues. Hopefully it will be ok to be removed then. When I look down at myself it's totally different. I can actually see my "lady parts". I haven't seen them since I got pregnant for my son--which was 29 years ago. Sooooooooo strange to see. The mons lift was fantastic. It's amazing how much more feminine I feel now. It's also strange not having to lift up the panni to clean. I"m so, so glad that I did this surgery.
I'm still waiting to hear back from NYSEG (New York State Electric & Gas). I want that job so badly. The starting pay is $20 hourly which is extremely high for this area. The best I've made since I retired from Verizon is $10.50 at Culligan. NYSEG rearranged their schedule in order to test me & interview me before my surgery. I was upfront with them & told them that I had had gastric bypass surgery 2 years ago & I was now having some skin removed. One of the ladies interviewing me was interested in doing the wls so that certainly didn't hurt me any. They said it would probably be after the first of the year before they know if I got the job. It has to be approved through their corporate office. They did say that they are extremely interested in me as I did basically the same type of job at Verizon & Culligan. I am their first choice, so I"m keeping my fingers crossed.
I am also getting canvass letters from the civil service test that I took. I got a 95 on the test, so my chances are excellent at getting a job. However, I've had to turn down 3 in my area because the interviews were during my surgery recovery. If I don't get the job at NYSEG I will probably get into the state job system. The pay starts at $12.50 hourly so it's better than I was making. I have already started to save money for my breast lift & batwing surgery. After that--it's the neck & facelift--then I'm done!!
R.I.P. My Beautiful Lacey Fru Fru
Nov 24, 2007
The day before Thanksgiving she was still begging for food from me. She never did that to anyone else because she was trained not to beg. She knew that I was a fool for her charm. Thanksgiving morning she went outdoors to potty, but just stood there looking at me. It was as though she was in a coma. She wasn't able to focus on anything really. Her breathing was so labored all day, but we had 10 people coming for dinner. I was just hoping that she would make it through the day. When people started to arrive they were shocked at the sight of her. You see, Lacey was the social director of our "pack". She loved people & always wanted to be petted. I always told her that she was an embarrassment to her breed. She never understood that she was a rottweiler & had a reputation to uphold. She thought she was a poodle. I will never find another dog with her disposition. The story of our aquiring her is a funny one.
We used to do puppy sitting for our friends when they went away. We have an indoor/outdoor kennel for our dogs that they stay in when we're at work. They are always in the house with us when we are home, but this gives them fresh air & keeps them confined to the yard. Well, hubby has a friend that breeds rotties. He brought this one home to be babysat by us. She was so cute, but looked like a pig when she walked. I started calling her "pig dog". Well, she was at our home for about 3 days when I asked hubby when she was going home and he just replied---um, she IS home!!! I was very upset because we had just lost our 14 yr old black lab about 6 months earlier, and our 12 year old yellow lab was having health problems as well. (she only lived another 3 months after Lacey came). I had told hubby that my next dog was going to be a little lacey fru fru dog that is small enough to sit on my lap 24/7. Well, I knew that wasn't going to happen, because we were now the proud (or not so proud) parents of a rottweiler....so I named her Miss Lacey Fru Fru. It stuck!!
Well, the reason he had her in our home was that the breeder was going to euthanize her because as a puppy she was extremely dominant agressive. Hubby has been a k9 obedience instructor for over 20 years so he thought he could work with her. Lo, and behold, he completely got her respect. You would never know that she had a mean bone in her body. She was such a good dog. I miss her terribly already. It was so hard to say good bye to her. The hardest part is that hubby works in a veterinary clinic, so we had to take her body there to be tagged & sent out for cremation. It was soooooooo difficult. His hands were shaking as he wrote her name on the body bag. I just kept reminding him that he gave her 8 years that she would have never had.
So, go to the Rainbow Bridge, Miss Fru, Fru, I'll see you when I get to heaven. I love you Lacey.......MOM
My Poor neglected Journal!!
Nov 15, 2007
I have scheduled my extended tummy tuck for Dec 5. I have saved up almost $10,000 from a job that I didn't like, but it helped me get the money so it served it's purpose. I quit the job & now I"m ready for my surgery. I have my follow up appointment with the plastic surgeon tomorrow. We will discuss the exact procedure she will use & I will meet with the nurse manager & the anesthesiologist. I"m really looking forward to getting this spare tire gone. Hopefully, this will get me back on track permanently. I'm still down to a size 8, but I'm very uncomfortable. I was
able to wear a 6 for awhile, so hopefully I will get back into them. Right now I"m teetering around 150, which is bad, bad, bad. I was steady at 140 for quite awhile, but after my shrink took her leave, I lost control. Now that I"m not in a stressful job maybe I can get back to healthy living.
Alot of other things have been happening in my life, but not alot that I'd like to share yet. The saddest thing right now is that my beloved rottie has been diagnosed with lymphoma. We can't even do chemo because she also has kidney disease. She's only 8 years old, but her mom died from the same thing. I'm just hoping and praying that she lives long enough for my daughter to see her at Christmas time. It doesn't look real good, but hopefully she will hold on. We don't want her to suffer though,. As soon as she starts showing signs of distress we will have to think about euthanizing her. Hubby still works in the veterinary clinic so it will be hard on him because it will have to be done there. That is why I left the clinic after working there for 4 years...it was just soooo sad.
Geesh, I sound whiney in this entry. Actually things are great for me, except for a few extra pounds. When will I ever learn to forget about my weight?????
April 19, 2007
Apr 20, 2007
I went to my first plastic surgery consultation the other day. I really like the Dr, but I don't think I will choose him. When I called the group I asked for a surgeon was board certified and experienced with wls patients. The Dr. was very nice & I felt comfortable with him, but he was extremely young. Not only that, I don't think he took all of my issues seriously. I told him that I was interested in a tummy tuck, breast lift, arm lift and complete face lift. The only thing that he looked at were my tummy & arms--he only took pictures of my tummy area. He never even looked at my backside, so I don't know if I really need a lbl or just a tummy tuck. He also had some concerns about doing an anchor incision because I have already had 2 open surgeries..one was open Rny, the other is from having an ovary & fallopian tube removed when I was 21 (I'm 53 now). He says if he did his normal procedure it would compromise the blood flow & the skin could have trouble staying close & would develop necrosis.
His prices were what I expected--for abdominoplasty he quoted $5,200 which includes his work plus anesthesia, but not hospital costs. For the arm lift he quoted $5,400 which includes his work plus anesthesia--not hospital costs.
Hopefully, the next consults will go even better. I have to get myself back to the gym!!! I haven't seen any weight gain on the scales, but my clothes are tighter & I feel all bloated all the time.
Tomorrow is suppose to be our first real springtime weather..in the 60's, so this will give me a chance to do some yardwork and get some exercise.
