3dhowell

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I have been out of touch, living in the real world...the normal world...forgetting where I have come from on this weightloss journey.  I have gained 30 pounds in the  last year and feel awful.  I no longer like living in my skin.  I suppose the question is not how, but why, did this happen.  I'll start back to August 2012, my annual visit at my surgeons office.  The nurse practioner told me "Your surgery has done everything it is going to do for you.  Any more weight you lose will have to come off the old fasion way."  Wow!  I never succeeded the "old fashioned" way.  I failed daily when I tried to lose weight the "old fashioned" way.  I walked out of that appointment feeling defeated and a predetermined failure.  I had trained and walked/rua 3 half marathons in the previous year, had lost 115 pounds, and now i had to rely on what lead me to have surgery in the first place?  I was amazed at how quickly the old thinking came back and took over.  AND I LET IT!  My husband got very ill and spent 4 weeks in the hsopital in November/December of that year, and it all snowballed from there.  Financial difficulties, overstressed due to taking on more responsibilities as a result of my husband's disability, etc...  All excuses, but reality.  So, here I am, my clothes don't fit, I refuse to buy bigger ones, struggling to get back to who and what I was a year ago.  

My plan:  Go back to that nurse practitioner (yes, I haven't been back for my 2013 annual check up), and tell her not to EVER say that to anyone else again, get back involved with support from people who know where I am and have been, walk the journey with people like me, change my thinking, adjust my eating and get moving again.  

Here's to being back on track...CHEERS!

Denise