Melanie Mullins
I come from a family where food has many meanings. The dinner table was always the center of our home, whether it be for family, friends or business there was always a spread of food to go with any conversation. Coming from an italian background, my upbringing always made food the center of who we are. Always sunday dinners filled with homemade sauce that simmered all day, until it was spread over the SPAGHETTI. Dinner at 5 sharp. Never arrive late or you commited the ultimate sin! I was a very thin child actually the smallest and skinniest one out of two siblings. Then came junior high. And my weight started to shift, from skinny to plump. My mom got on this health kick and banned all the junk out of the house. Being used to the semi sweet cereals suddenly changed to grapenuts, multigrain, bran flakes and I hated those cereals. Mom meant well, but I hated the good stuff. I suddenly felt like I wasn't able to access anything appealing in my cupboards, my mom had a tight leash on what I ate and she meant well but I felt like junk food was a sin. I was eventually eating anything and everything not good for me. At Grandma's house I always had goodies, so that was always something to look forward too and grandma never cared how I looked she loved me just the way I was. My mom was always trying to make me eat healthy but I hated all the good things so I never ate at home. Of course I had to eat dinner at home but snacks were always at friends houses and I was always sneaking food at night. I was always trying to fabricate all the healthy food and make it into junk food so it would taste better. I was considered your typical junk food junkie! When I went to my friends I always pigged out and enjoyed getting stuffed cause I couldn't do it at home. From those days forward I always had a food issue. Sneaking around and tip toeing around food didn't help me but gave me a complex about it. I tried sports and cheerleading in high school and those worked for a short amount of time, it helped me get tone and thinner and keep me occupied and not focus on food but then after highschool my weight shot up when I was in college. I was very lonely. I compensated the food for my loneliness. I ate all the time to make myself feel better. It didn't help me, I got pregnant in college and got married, I had to drop out of college and focus on my daughter, marriage, and medical assisting school at nights. Stress from all those things threw me into a depression and low self esteem I was a young bride and mother at 18. Thats tough on any 18 year old. My marriage didn't work out and I got divorced. I have been a single mother since, for 7 years and my weight still continues to be an issue. I just can't seem to get a handle on it or figure out what works. Diet after diet, pill after pill, I've lost and gained, lost and gained again. Over and over the cycle continues. I continued to get bigger and bigger after every diet and now Im at the biggest I've ever been pushing 275, I've just had enough! I have sleep apnea, I've had it now for 6 years and that continues to get worse, high blood pressure, acid reflux disease, urinary incontinance, poor blood circulation, neck and back issues, joint pain, and the list continues to grow the more my weight continues to increase. Im sick of living like I'm dying. Im 28 and too young to feel this horrible. Im sick of lying in bed wondering where did my life go. I finally went to the doctor and asked her for a professional opinion on what else can I do to get the weight off? After we tried four other things prior to the visit, she suggested the gastric bypass. I never thought in my wildest imagination that gastric bypass would be an option. I was always trying to do it myself. She referred me for the classes for my insurance to cover the procedure. I started the classes and started to feel hope! I could actually put an end to this yo-yo struggle. Im grateful that God has offered me this tool to help me get to where I need to be and should be. I realize this is my tool to get me started on the right path, this came to me from God and Im going to run with it, with the strength he gives me I want to accomplish what I have been waiting for, LIFE, LONGEVITY, and HEALTH!! My only focus now is breaking the cycle and learning why I got here and how to not let it control my chances after the surgery to gain again. It has been a journey but one that has helped me shape who I am and who I will be later. I want to help others break the cycle so they can be healthy individuals inside, then what comes out will be beautiful.
