Oceanbreeze
I AM STRONG
May 23, 2012
There will always be nay-sayers in the crowd. Sometimes I wish they'd just leave me alone b/c I truly do not need the stress of having to defend myself over and over again.
like last night. oy.
Online with a friend, he asked me how I was doing and how my recent appointments with the NUT and behavioral health specialists went. I told him everything went very well and I had even lost another 6 pounds.
I was only too surprised to find his next line to be "thats great maybe you do this on your own".
Here we go. again. sigh.
Not the first time this guy's done that to me about the surgery, but damn it, it had better be the last b/c next time i'm not going to be polite about it. I turned my anger from this into an assertive confrontation to him. I put HIM on the spot about why he's constantly trying to talk me out of this surgery. He said it scares the crap out of him, sure that seems fair, and I won't lie that it scares me too b/c any surgery holds its own risks and complications. However, I went on to say that my health has declined and life changes after you have a child- your perspectives change radically. I no longer see the reason to yo-yo diet and needed to utilize this tool to help my journey to better health. It doesn't matter how i get there, just that it happens in a safe way and that I stay there.
I was amazed that actually confronting him when he was wheeling his emotions at me, really worked. Put me on the spot and I'm going to do it to you. He apologized and said he would not try to change my mind again. I felt GOOD by putting him on the "griddle" and making him squirm like a nice hot piece of bacon frying up to all its candied ham glory. :)
It has been nearly 3 years since I first began even thinking of having surgery. In that time does it not occur to people that I've thought this out, hell...I changed hospitals because I was not comfortable with what was going on with the first one. I listen to my gut instincts, I pay attention to facts, constructive critisism and and think independently. Oh, and that other thing- I'm an adult who can make up her own mind.
I'm growing tired of people dismissing my choices, words and actions. I'm growing tired of not being taken seriously and intelligently as though what I say is mere rubbish talk. There is a storm of change coming and its not all physical, some of it is emotional. I'm also tired of feeling perpetually inadequate and /or 12, some folks go out of their way to make me feel that way. I've allowed this for so long, it has affected my life in many ways on different levels. Its not fair to me and I can change it...and I will.
Those people who come at me, challenging me, ridiculing me, mocking me and making snap judgements on me... they won't change. Some things never change...but I - I can change and I can find more strenghth in me than even what I had to dig to get at before. They don't know where my footsteps have been, what I had to weather and endure to get to where I am right now. They don't know the pain on that path, what I've been through that most people don't have words to say to you except "I don't know how you do it". You just do. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Somedays when all you have in you is the breath you take and the air you breathe, a sunrise on the horizon and the heart beating in your chest to remind you that you keep going, you just DO.
I AM STRONG
I AM STRONG ENOUGH
0 comments
like last night. oy.
Online with a friend, he asked me how I was doing and how my recent appointments with the NUT and behavioral health specialists went. I told him everything went very well and I had even lost another 6 pounds.
I was only too surprised to find his next line to be "thats great maybe you do this on your own".
Here we go. again. sigh.
Not the first time this guy's done that to me about the surgery, but damn it, it had better be the last b/c next time i'm not going to be polite about it. I turned my anger from this into an assertive confrontation to him. I put HIM on the spot about why he's constantly trying to talk me out of this surgery. He said it scares the crap out of him, sure that seems fair, and I won't lie that it scares me too b/c any surgery holds its own risks and complications. However, I went on to say that my health has declined and life changes after you have a child- your perspectives change radically. I no longer see the reason to yo-yo diet and needed to utilize this tool to help my journey to better health. It doesn't matter how i get there, just that it happens in a safe way and that I stay there.
I was amazed that actually confronting him when he was wheeling his emotions at me, really worked. Put me on the spot and I'm going to do it to you. He apologized and said he would not try to change my mind again. I felt GOOD by putting him on the "griddle" and making him squirm like a nice hot piece of bacon frying up to all its candied ham glory. :)
It has been nearly 3 years since I first began even thinking of having surgery. In that time does it not occur to people that I've thought this out, hell...I changed hospitals because I was not comfortable with what was going on with the first one. I listen to my gut instincts, I pay attention to facts, constructive critisism and and think independently. Oh, and that other thing- I'm an adult who can make up her own mind.
I'm growing tired of people dismissing my choices, words and actions. I'm growing tired of not being taken seriously and intelligently as though what I say is mere rubbish talk. There is a storm of change coming and its not all physical, some of it is emotional. I'm also tired of feeling perpetually inadequate and /or 12, some folks go out of their way to make me feel that way. I've allowed this for so long, it has affected my life in many ways on different levels. Its not fair to me and I can change it...and I will.
Those people who come at me, challenging me, ridiculing me, mocking me and making snap judgements on me... they won't change. Some things never change...but I - I can change and I can find more strenghth in me than even what I had to dig to get at before. They don't know where my footsteps have been, what I had to weather and endure to get to where I am right now. They don't know the pain on that path, what I've been through that most people don't have words to say to you except "I don't know how you do it". You just do. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Somedays when all you have in you is the breath you take and the air you breathe, a sunrise on the horizon and the heart beating in your chest to remind you that you keep going, you just DO.
I AM STRONG
I AM STRONG ENOUGH
An eventful day
May 21, 2012
Today I had my appt w/ the hospital dietician/nutritionist and the behavioral health specialist.
Everything went well w/ the NUT, just need to get more veggies and fruits in, otherwise she was very happy with my progress and since my last appt on May 4th I lost 6 more pounds :) When they did the calculations on the fancy scale she said what I lost this time was all fat, not water :)
Just keep on pluggin' along and lose what i can prior to surgery.
The behavioral health specialist cleared me for surgery too...but I am going back for a few sessions to help me with coping tools that would help me in certain stressful situations in the future. Cathartic experience...
----------
So we are on the verge of a holiday weekend. Yeah, you guessed it, cookout time. We have one to go to on sunday and there will be healthy options available, and then there is the family gathering Monday to attend. I've just found out that there will not be a good choice available at that one. My mom is making the food for everyone and all 3 of the mains are going to be things which are not going to be good choices for me- either because of fat, sodium or caloric content. Does it leave me reeling and feelin' like she's trying to sabotage me- yes. If she really is though is left to be seen.
No matter, I am still annoyed by it. Why? She has known for months that I am having the surgery done, and when its anyone else coming to an event at the house she would make special considerations for them. It drives me nuts that she does not take my circumstances into consideration.
This time, rather than argue with her to get something healthy to eat, I am just bringing something small for myself to eat that I know will be a healthier option. I cannot change her no matter how hard I want to, and I need to stop trying for it is a goal that will forever go unfulfilled. Stepping away and taking back the control by bringing something I can eat will save me from some of the stress that can trigger over eating due to stress eating.
I cannot say it doesn't hurt, but I have to work past that and just do what I gotta do FOR ME. I've been saying if I can't get something done by going through the front door, then I gotta go through a side window or another point of entry...but cannot give up on myself...and its about effing time I put that advice to good use.
2 comments
Everything went well w/ the NUT, just need to get more veggies and fruits in, otherwise she was very happy with my progress and since my last appt on May 4th I lost 6 more pounds :) When they did the calculations on the fancy scale she said what I lost this time was all fat, not water :)
Just keep on pluggin' along and lose what i can prior to surgery.
The behavioral health specialist cleared me for surgery too...but I am going back for a few sessions to help me with coping tools that would help me in certain stressful situations in the future. Cathartic experience...
----------
So we are on the verge of a holiday weekend. Yeah, you guessed it, cookout time. We have one to go to on sunday and there will be healthy options available, and then there is the family gathering Monday to attend. I've just found out that there will not be a good choice available at that one. My mom is making the food for everyone and all 3 of the mains are going to be things which are not going to be good choices for me- either because of fat, sodium or caloric content. Does it leave me reeling and feelin' like she's trying to sabotage me- yes. If she really is though is left to be seen.
No matter, I am still annoyed by it. Why? She has known for months that I am having the surgery done, and when its anyone else coming to an event at the house she would make special considerations for them. It drives me nuts that she does not take my circumstances into consideration.
This time, rather than argue with her to get something healthy to eat, I am just bringing something small for myself to eat that I know will be a healthier option. I cannot change her no matter how hard I want to, and I need to stop trying for it is a goal that will forever go unfulfilled. Stepping away and taking back the control by bringing something I can eat will save me from some of the stress that can trigger over eating due to stress eating.
I cannot say it doesn't hurt, but I have to work past that and just do what I gotta do FOR ME. I've been saying if I can't get something done by going through the front door, then I gotta go through a side window or another point of entry...but cannot give up on myself...and its about effing time I put that advice to good use.
Nectar protein powder taste test
May 13, 2012
Out of my sampler, here is what I've tried so far....
Apple Ecstasy--
It tastes like a Jolly Rancher Sour Apple hard candy, but you get a hint of the very, very mild vanilla in the background . There is that bit of tartness to it like the candy, and it turns green in water! Nice to have a bright, bold lime green colored drink. This is one of my favorite flavors so far.
Pink Grapefruit--
I will say I am not a grapefruit fan at all, but thought I would try this because you just never know if you may like something or not. So, I mixed it with really cold water. It has that 'pucker' that you get from eating a grapefruit...even though its a pretty mild pucker in the world of grapefruit tastes. If you've had Mello Yello, its not even that strong. Turns pink in water, and you know you are drinking grapefruit. I can see why people would like this because it does have a very refreshing quality to it, and would be delighful in the summertime. Light and citrusy!
Fuzzy Naval--
Ahhh, bummed by this flavor. Wa, wa, waaaa. Was hoping it would be like an orange creamsicle, but it was more like orange Tang (ya'll remember that stuff, right?) and you could taste the vanilla background very clearly with just a finishing hint of peach at the end. Not really a peach fan, but thought this was worth a go, again who knew? My husband tasted it and said it reminded him of the pink antibiotic growing up, lol. This is one I'm happy was just a sample. Oh, and it turns a pale peach in water.
Crystal Sky fruit punch--
Was leery of this one because there was a picture of a strawberry on the packet. (strawberry allergy here)
I took my chances and tasted it. This one tastes nothing like fruit punch and everything like Berry Blue Kool-aid, which I happen to LOVE. It has a little tartness to it, and turns bright sky blue in water. Refreshing and light, so far its my favorite flavor.
Lemon Tea--
Another bummer flavor. It sure looks and smells like Iced Tea, but the flavor is busted. You get a hint of iced tea flavor at the end. Thats all, folks. Ker--blah! Another "glad its just a sample" flavor.
Twisted Cherry--
Ahh yes, this is one great flavor, up there with Crystal Sky and Apple Ecstasy. It has hints of Kool-aid and Jello flavor to it, and barely any of the background vanilla flavor is noticeable. Its a nice bright red when mixed, too. Thumbs up, yummy!
Caribbean Cooler--
Well, its odd is the best way to sum it up. It tastes creamy, smells pina-colada-esque and has a banana /pineapple taste to it BUT it just tastes funny to me. Tastes like the way pina colada car air fresheners smell. Now, if you were to add real, pureed pineapple and banana to it i'm sure it would kick ass but um, it wouldn't be a true protein shake/ drink... it would become a smoothie. Which, i suppose is ok if you have room for it but I'll be drinking this stuff post RNY surgery so those additional options are not for me.
Cappucino--
OMG, delish! Seriously, I am not a coffee drinker at all but this...THIS has a lovely coffee flavor to it. Not too strong, just sweet enough and enough "taste" to it to be really, really good. If you drink coffee and need an alternative to get you past the caffiene but still want the coffee flavor (and let's face it, some nutrition while you're at it) then this is the one for you. It looks like wheat flour with dark rye specks in it when you open the package, but when poured into water it turns the most inviting shade of lightened up coffee. Magnificent!
Roadside Lemonade--
um, no. does not taste like lemonade. what the hell were they thinking with this flavor. It tastes like sh*t. Very disappointed in this one. mehhhhh.
0 comments
Apple Ecstasy--
It tastes like a Jolly Rancher Sour Apple hard candy, but you get a hint of the very, very mild vanilla in the background . There is that bit of tartness to it like the candy, and it turns green in water! Nice to have a bright, bold lime green colored drink. This is one of my favorite flavors so far.
Pink Grapefruit--
I will say I am not a grapefruit fan at all, but thought I would try this because you just never know if you may like something or not. So, I mixed it with really cold water. It has that 'pucker' that you get from eating a grapefruit...even though its a pretty mild pucker in the world of grapefruit tastes. If you've had Mello Yello, its not even that strong. Turns pink in water, and you know you are drinking grapefruit. I can see why people would like this because it does have a very refreshing quality to it, and would be delighful in the summertime. Light and citrusy!
Fuzzy Naval--
Ahhh, bummed by this flavor. Wa, wa, waaaa. Was hoping it would be like an orange creamsicle, but it was more like orange Tang (ya'll remember that stuff, right?) and you could taste the vanilla background very clearly with just a finishing hint of peach at the end. Not really a peach fan, but thought this was worth a go, again who knew? My husband tasted it and said it reminded him of the pink antibiotic growing up, lol. This is one I'm happy was just a sample. Oh, and it turns a pale peach in water.
Crystal Sky fruit punch--
Was leery of this one because there was a picture of a strawberry on the packet. (strawberry allergy here)
I took my chances and tasted it. This one tastes nothing like fruit punch and everything like Berry Blue Kool-aid, which I happen to LOVE. It has a little tartness to it, and turns bright sky blue in water. Refreshing and light, so far its my favorite flavor.
Lemon Tea--
Another bummer flavor. It sure looks and smells like Iced Tea, but the flavor is busted. You get a hint of iced tea flavor at the end. Thats all, folks. Ker--blah! Another "glad its just a sample" flavor.
Twisted Cherry--
Ahh yes, this is one great flavor, up there with Crystal Sky and Apple Ecstasy. It has hints of Kool-aid and Jello flavor to it, and barely any of the background vanilla flavor is noticeable. Its a nice bright red when mixed, too. Thumbs up, yummy!
Caribbean Cooler--
Well, its odd is the best way to sum it up. It tastes creamy, smells pina-colada-esque and has a banana /pineapple taste to it BUT it just tastes funny to me. Tastes like the way pina colada car air fresheners smell. Now, if you were to add real, pureed pineapple and banana to it i'm sure it would kick ass but um, it wouldn't be a true protein shake/ drink... it would become a smoothie. Which, i suppose is ok if you have room for it but I'll be drinking this stuff post RNY surgery so those additional options are not for me.
Cappucino--
OMG, delish! Seriously, I am not a coffee drinker at all but this...THIS has a lovely coffee flavor to it. Not too strong, just sweet enough and enough "taste" to it to be really, really good. If you drink coffee and need an alternative to get you past the caffiene but still want the coffee flavor (and let's face it, some nutrition while you're at it) then this is the one for you. It looks like wheat flour with dark rye specks in it when you open the package, but when poured into water it turns the most inviting shade of lightened up coffee. Magnificent!
Roadside Lemonade--
um, no. does not taste like lemonade. what the hell were they thinking with this flavor. It tastes like sh*t. Very disappointed in this one. mehhhhh.
Nectar Protein Powder sampler
May 13, 2012
Chocolate, vanilla...rinse & repeat until you are so sick of them you could scream. I can't have strawberry stuff, thank you allergies.
Alright, I had to find out some other flavors of powders to try, especially for when you just want something that tastes more like a glass of Crystal light rather than a milkshake-esque drink.
Enter Syntrax Nectar protein powders. I found these online when I was looking for something alternative to the Isopure pre-mixed, bottled protein that was an astounding 4.00 per bottle. First off, I don't want to pay for the convenience and secondly I am frugal. Like extreme couponing frugal.
That was when I stumbled on Nectar. 13 flavors to choose from can't be all that bad, right?
The best part was finding out they offer a sampler pack!
Per serving: 90 calories, 0 Sugars, 0 Carbs and 23g Protein!!!
Of course I had to find the best deal on this, including shipping. That was at www.bjsbariatrics.com
There, you can choose 11 flavors, any combo and its only 14.95 USD, plus 5.15 standard shipping. Bjsbariatrics does not do the full 13 packet sampler you may see elsewhere because it would end up weighing more and would require higher shipping costs.
If you would prefer flat rate shipping, go to www.netrition.com and order the 13 pack (you don't get to choose your flavors there, though) sampler. The flat rate shipping for any order there is 4.95!! BTW, when you are ready to order a 2lb container of your favorite flavor(s), netrition has it at the lowest price w/ shipping.
So over the next week I will be giving my opinion on each flavor in my sampler pack and the final winning flavor that will be ordered after all the tastings!!
0 comments
Alright, I had to find out some other flavors of powders to try, especially for when you just want something that tastes more like a glass of Crystal light rather than a milkshake-esque drink.
Enter Syntrax Nectar protein powders. I found these online when I was looking for something alternative to the Isopure pre-mixed, bottled protein that was an astounding 4.00 per bottle. First off, I don't want to pay for the convenience and secondly I am frugal. Like extreme couponing frugal.
That was when I stumbled on Nectar. 13 flavors to choose from can't be all that bad, right?
The best part was finding out they offer a sampler pack!
Per serving: 90 calories, 0 Sugars, 0 Carbs and 23g Protein!!!
Of course I had to find the best deal on this, including shipping. That was at www.bjsbariatrics.com
There, you can choose 11 flavors, any combo and its only 14.95 USD, plus 5.15 standard shipping. Bjsbariatrics does not do the full 13 packet sampler you may see elsewhere because it would end up weighing more and would require higher shipping costs.
If you would prefer flat rate shipping, go to www.netrition.com and order the 13 pack (you don't get to choose your flavors there, though) sampler. The flat rate shipping for any order there is 4.95!! BTW, when you are ready to order a 2lb container of your favorite flavor(s), netrition has it at the lowest price w/ shipping.
So over the next week I will be giving my opinion on each flavor in my sampler pack and the final winning flavor that will be ordered after all the tastings!!
